Serene (Shattered Book 3) Read online

  “Here,” Stanley said, returning a few moments later. He gave me a piece of something cotton, cleared his throat and added, “If you need help with changing clothes…”

  “I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

  “Okay. Here’s a towel as well.” I took it from his hands and listened to his instructions. “The bed is like ten steps away from you. If you need to go to the bathroom, take forty-five steps to the left. Leave your clothes in the dryer. It’s eight steps to the right from the bathroom door. The bedroom door is twenty steps away from the bed. The rest of the room is empty, so feel free to walk around it.”

  “When did you have time to count steps?”

  He came closer and stood behind me. Into my ear he said, “Will you believe if I say I did that while imagining you staying in this bedroom overnight?”

  God, he just had to say those very words. My throat suddenly went dry.

  He chuckled and kissed the side of my neck, saying, “Relax, it’s not like I’m gonna lock you here against your will. Not that the idea of locking you in my bedroom, with me free to do anything I wanted to do with you, never crossed my mind.”

  “Ugh, just get out and let me change my clothes.” I tried to punch him, but he stepped back and I failed.

  “Take your time. I’m gonna go find something to eat. Not sure if I have anything but coffee in the house.” With those words said, he left the room and closed the door behind him.

  I let out a breath that I hadn’t noticed holding and brought his shirt to my nose.

  Mmm… It smelled just like everything that belonged to him, whether it was his body, or his room, or clothes.

  Did he always smell so good? Oh, no doubt he did.

  For a second I imagined finding it out in a very intimate way… When in his bed, in his arms, with his lips doing their magical work, exploring my body and vice versa…

  Shoot… Bad thoughts, Ivy. Think about something else. Something else? What shall I think about to not feel like stripping and going to Stanley’s kitchen with nothing but my lingerie to cover my body? Then again, I knew that my bra was as wet as my shirt, which would leave me in my pants only…

  Sweet Jesus, I was a mess. A wet in all the wrong places mess.

  Afraid I would follow my stupid instincts, I took off my clothes, dried my hair with a towel and quickly changed into Stanley’s shirt. It was a V-neck shirt and went almost to my knees. From what I could feel, it covered a good part of me and was decent enough to not show off too much.

  I counted forty-five steps to the bathroom, found a dryer and put my clothes in it.

  Excitement filled me from within. I didn’t know if it was caused by the fact of staying in Stanley’s bedroom, or the ride and the kiss that we shared back on the speedway. Whatever it was, it made me nervous and a bit high. Not that I didn’t like those feelings. On the contrary, I didn’t remember the last time I felt like that. Again, like that never happened before.

  Okay, Ivy, courage…

  Taking a deep breath, I went back into the room and then into the hall that led to the kitchen, hoping I would be able to play it cool.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Stanley

  They say that glow is the essence of beauty. That was exactly what made Ivy Ryan’s beauty so irresistible. The glow that went along with everything she was doing. She radiated sun that at times was too blinding to keep my eyes open. It shone through her flaws, making all the impossible things so easy to do and believe in, as if she were a dream coming true, right in front of my eyes.

  “I can smell cheese,” she said, entering my kitchen. “I thought you said there was nothing but coffee in the house.”

  “I was wrong. I forgot about Emery’s cheese dogs. She knew I wouldn’t have time to think about food, since it’s my last day in this apartment and there’s a hell of a lot of things I need to do before I move out. She made cheese dogs for me and sent them with a courier. So very thoughtful of her, right?”

  “She’s a mother to the bone. Not even my mom sends me cheese dogs to make sure I survive another day of my life. But Emery, she cares about everyone, even if you are not her blood relative. You are lucky to have her for your secretary.”

  “True.”

  Only now did I give Ivy a proper look. My shirt looked so damn sexy on her, especially knowing that there was almost nothing under it. My palms burned from the need to feel the smoothness of her skin touch mine. Her hair was still wet after the rain. It was almost like a déjà vu. An image of Ivy wearing nothing but her lingerie filled my mind. It felt like that night at Emery’s happened forever ago. I didn’t mind making that memory a reality instead, not at all.

  “I have an idea… Why don’t you stay here for the night?”

  Ivy’s posture tensed.

  “Like…for another ride?”

  I burst out laughing. “No. Like for an innocent sleepover.” God, I couldn’t believe I just said that. “Though if you want it to be a ride…” Nothing could make me stop myself from saying it.

  “Bad idea.”

  “Actually, it’s a brilliant idea. But I know you’re going to say ‘no’ to a ride. That’s why all I’m offering is a sleepover. I can even wear pajamas, if you want. I think I have one in one of those boxes over there. I always hated pajamas, and never wore them, but mom was sure I would need one when in Washington. I wouldn’t be surprised to know she thinks it’s too close to the ocean, and that’s why it’s colder here than in Pittsburgh.”

  Ivy crossed her arms, her eyes focused on me, on my lips I would say, though I wasn’t sure if that was on purpose or just her instincts following the sound of my voice.

  “In one bed?” She asked, squinting her eyes.

  “I was going to say I would take the couch, but one bed sounds so much better.”

  “Not gonna happen.”

  “Even if I beg?”

  She tried to hide her smile, but I still managed to catch it.

  “Come on, Ivy. It’s my last night in this one hell of an apartment and I want at least one night here to be worth remembering. Stay… I promise to behave.”

  “It doesn’t sound convincing.”

  I came closer, close enough to break into her private space. “What shall I do to make you change your mind?”

  She thought for a moment. “Come to the hospital pool to swim with the kids. It was your idea, remember? Besides, I’m sure they would be happy to have you around again.”

  “Only if you wear a swimsuit.”

  “Hey, I thought it was my game, not yours!”

  I wrapped one arm around her and pulled her into my embrace, saying in response, “Whatever game you want to play, I’m in. Does this sound convincing enough to make you stay?”

  “All right. But don’t forget you promised to behave.”

  “Now that you’ve mentioned it, it looks like an impossible mission. But I’ll try my best.”

  “You’d better.”

  Since the biggest part of my apartment was filled with boxes, Ivy and I went back to my bedroom. It was almost empty, except for the king-size bed that I was going to leave as a gift for the new owners.

  I pulled my bedcover to the floor, and Ivy and I sat on it, with the plate of cheese dogs and two cups of hot chocolate standing on a tray between us.

  “It feels like we are on a picnic.” She giggled.

  “The only missing attribute of a real picnic is fire. Though I don’t think the owners of the building would have approved of it. No matter how much I would love this place to burn down in flames.”

  “Why do you hate it?”

  “It’s a long story. But the hate is mutual, that’s for sure.”

  “How far away is your new apartment?”

  “Um… Not far away from here.” I wasn’t going to tell Ivy that my new apartment was just next to hers, not now anyway. Why? Mostly because I was afraid she would stop seeing me, or think I was a stalker who wouldn’t leave her alone even when she was at home. “By the way, I need y
our help with finding a few things for my new home.”

  “Things like what?”

  “Bed, couch, kitchen table… You know, the essentials.”

  “How exactly do you think I can help you find a bed? I can’t see anything, remember?”

  “Of all the mentioned above things you only care about not seeing a bed? Interesting… Is your desire to share it with me so strong, you can’t think about anything else?”

  “Shut up, smartass. The bed was the first thing on the list.”

  “Right. At least you can tell me if it’s comfortable enough or not. For you, I mean. Personally, I would share any piece of furniture with you: a bed, a couch, a kitchen table.”

  She laughed. “You are incurable, Dr. Burke. A kitchen stove is what you really need to add to your list of ‘play’ furniture.”

  “To fry my ass on it? No, thank you. Besides, who says I want to be cured? I kind of enjoy suffering the disease called Ivy Ryan.”

  She bit her lower lip and got quiet.

  “What?” I asked. “Did I say something wrong?”

  She ran one hand through her hair, letting it fall down one shoulder. Her eyes searched mine, as if she could actually look me in the eye and see everything she wanted to see.

  “The more time I spend with you, Stanley, the less I care about being hurt again.” She lowered her eyes to the cup in her hands. “Emery says I shouldn’t look back… Do you think it’s possible? To not look back after what happened to me?”

  I took away the tray and moved closer to Ivy, wrapping both arms around her. “Past is just a memory. It can’t hurt you or ruin your future. It’s what’s in your heart that really matters.”

  “My heart is a fool.”

  I smiled. “So is mine.”

  She looked up at me. “Does this mean that we are a perfect match? Or maybe a lost cause…”

  “Who knows?” I touched her cheek with my palm and leaned forward to give her a kiss.

  Our lips fit like two pieces of a puzzle – perfect for each other.

  Her body leaned into mine, as if searching for something she wanted for so long. My fingers played with her hair, lips explored and begged. A surge of excitement ran through me.

  God, I wanted her… So bad, I could die wanting.

  I took the cup from her hands and put it aside. Then I stood up and pulled her to me.

  “What are you doing?” She asked, confused.

  “You can stop me whenever you feel like doing just that.”

  She hesitated, as if trying to read what was written in between my words. Then hesitation turned into curiosity: her features softened and I saw a barely noticeable curve in the corner of her lips. I wondered if she was thinking about the limits of the approaching play. Obviously, I thought about none.

  Still holding her hands in mine, I took a few steps back and stopped at the bed. I sat down, and pulled her closer, inhaling the mind-blowing smell of her perfume that not even the rain could wash away.

  My palms rested on her sides; I watched her chest rise and fall along with her breathing quickening. Neither of us said a word, as if too scared to let the words ruin the moment.

  The fabric of my shirt on her burned my palms. She wasn’t wearing a bra, I could see it. Her hardened nipples pressed against the cotton.

  I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to remember the last time I got so nervous in the presence of a woman in my bedroom. The answer was – never.

  Ivy’s beauty and warmth seeped into me like wine, warming me up from inside, intoxicating me, making my thoughts go wild. Without knowing, she had so much power over me, turning me into a prisoner of my feelings for her.

  She felt something for me too. I knew it the moment we kissed back on the speedway. She was going to say something…and I stopped her. Either afraid to hear the words that I was dying to say out loud too, or because I didn’t want her to regret saying them. Everything about her was too fragile to let it shatter because of one wrong move.

  Nevertheless, I wanted to push our relationship just a little further. Something was telling me that I wasn’t alone in my wishes.

  I let my palm slip down and to the edge of my shirt that stopped a little over Ivy’s knees. When she felt my hand under the hem of her borrowed piece of clothes, her lips parted in a sharp intake of breath. The mere thought of letting her go now made my body hurt. I missed her even when she closed her eyes and I lost my chance to look into their depths. And every time we parted, I felt like I was in pain too strong to bear.

  I loved her…more than my heart would ever be able to handle.

  To me love was an unknown journey. But I wanted to discover everything it would show me, everything it would give me. I wanted to discover her…

  Her vulnerability seized me. You would never see it, if you didn’t know her. But if you took a closer look, you would see it all: beauty, mystery, fear, fire, free spirit, rebel and broken heart, desperate to beat as fast as ever.

  “Where have you been all this time?” My words came out in a whisper. I more thought about the question than wanted to ask it aloud.

  Her eyes shone with unending passion and love.

  God, she loved me… I knew it without words. I could feel it in everything she did or said to me; in her every touch, in her every kiss, in her every smile.

  Was I ready to take her love and give my own heart in return?

  Hell, yes.

  My fingers tingled to touch more of her. Now both of my hands were beneath the shirt, sliding up her smooth hips and sides.

  “I want to see you,” I said in a husky voice. “All of you.”

  To my surprise, there was no hesitation in her moves when she rose her hands up and helped me get rid of the shirt, hiding her from my hungry eyes.

  Sweet baby Jesus… She was perfect. Just like the other night when I saw her at Emery’s. Same perfect lines, each and every one of them as if sculptured by the famous artist.

  How could I never see anything like this before? With so many women crossing the threshold of my office, I never once felt like drugged from the mere view of a woman’s body. Until now.

  Every second with Ivy was legendary, every kiss was addictive, every touch was a flame that danced on my skin and burned me to ashes. She bared her scars to me and let me see them all. When I knew for sure that losing her would be a scar that no one would ever be able to heal…

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Ivy

  Shame…

  It was the first thing that I felt when standing almost naked in front of the eyes of the man I loved. It was as if everything happening in the room was my first time ever, starting with the touches that were getting more and more sensual and to the kisses that were about to make me lose my mind.

  My body froze to the spot. A part of me was still trying to come up with an excuse to cover myself with a sheet or something that would lessen my inexplicable embarrassment. When the other part wanted to show it all – the desire, the love, the need to be with the man who breathed new life into my stone-cold heart.

  I would give away a lot just to see Stanley’s face now. What was he thinking at the moment? Was he thinking about other women he had been with before me? Was he comparing me to them?

  As smart as he was, he couldn’t leave my mental questions unanswered.

  Slowly, he wrapped his fingers around my knee and said, “Open up to me. I wanna see more of you.” Then he gently pulled my left leg up, until my foot touched the mattress. “Yeah, like this…” He breathed into my thigh. And before I could protest, his tongue drew a line up my skin, and stopped at the edge of my panties, while his palm moved up to my hip and pulled me even closer to his face. “You smell like the best of my fantasies coming true.”

  His free hand began to move my panties aside, until I felt his thumb pressed against my clit. I gasped for air; my palms landed on his shoulders. His grip on my ass tightened.

  I barely felt the lightly moving finger when it started drawing circles around
my clit. The game was getting hotter with every heartbeat, and I guess we both knew it would be nearly impossible to stop what we started.

  “Relax,” Stanley said in a husky voice. “I can almost smell your tension. As well as many other things that are giving away your every secret thought.”

  A nervous chuckle escaped my lips. “You think you can feel me so well?”

  “Oh, yes, I can. And I LOVE what I’m feeling right now. You?”

  “I…”

  The touch of his hot tongue on my clit stopped me mid-word.

  “You what?” He asked a second before his mouth captured me and sucked.

  My lips parted in a deep intake of breath; head started to spin.

  “This… this is sooo good,” I managed to say while Stanley’s mouth continued his mind-blowing work on me, making tingles run up my spine.

  His face pressed harder against me, with his nose inhaling the scent of my excitement. His knowing tongue made its way between my lips and then entered me, making him growl into me.

  There was no more place for shame; desire replaced it so fast, I didn’t even notice the moment Stanley’s fingers joined in the game, one then two.

  Measured, deep thrusts made my whole body shudder. His fingers and tongue devoured me, making me feel as dirty as ever. But at the same time – I never felt more beautiful than now, in this very room, with this very man.

  I could barely remember my name or how we got to this point at all. One second it was the ride on the speedway, and then the next second his lips made me feel wanted, hot and heavy with the need to feel more of him – all of him, inside me. Until this very moment, I wasn’t even sure I remembered what it was like to be with a man, make love and just be myself.

  Make love…

  Be myself…

  Those were the two things I was sure I would never be able to do again. But ‘never say never’ just made sense. And with Stanley, I never knew what to expect next. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t wait for his next move.

  “Wait,” I said, when I felt like I was too close to the climax. “Let’s do it together. I know you want it too.”