Faded (Shattered Book 4) Page 14

"I knew you needed a distraction."

  "You always know what I need." It was true. Jeffrey had this amazing gift to give me what I wanted even before I got a chance to ask for it, no matter if that was a cup of my favorite coffee or a piece of chocolate pie. I couldn't live without chocolate, it was my weakness.

  "I was thinking… How about we spend winter break together? I know you said you want to go home for Christmas, but there will be plenty of time before the new semester begins. We could go to the mountains and ski. Or simply stay in my apartment and watch all the best Christmas movies in the world."

  "Movies sound so much better. I hate skiing. Though I could teach you how to ice skate. It's not as hard as it seems."

  "Speaking of skating… You never told me why you stopped attending skating trainings."

  "The reason is more than obvious – I was missing mom. I hated my life without her. I made myself believe that I wasn't good enough to become a professional skater. In short, all my dreams about my future broke with her."

  "Except for one – being here." He waved around the view of the campus, opening before us.

  "This place always associated with her. She told me she always wanted to study here, but didn't have enough money to pay for it. She got a diploma somewhere else, but I knew how much she wanted me to make her dream come true for her."

  "I'm sure she would be proud of you, Rhea."

  I looked at the lights again and smiled. "I know she's watching me from up there. I hope I will never disappoint her as a daughter or as a person. She used to say that you are the person you want to be. It's up to you to decide if you want to change yourself, perfect yourself, or destroy yourself."

  "I think she was right. We are the owners of our lives. We are the only people responsible for what we do."

  I looked at him and thought if it wasn't just a coincidence that he and I were together now. What if we were predestined to meet and put an end to the secrets tied around our families?

  "I love you so much, Jeffrey," I pronounced the words I never said to anyone before, not even to the guy sitting next to me now. Though I was sure, he knew everything about my feelings for him. I was just that bad at hiding them.

  "What did you say?" He asked with pleasure written all over his face.

  "Uh, you heard me!" I laughed and turned away from him.

  "I wanna hear it again." He put a finger under my chin and made me look at him. "Say it, Rhea."

  "Jeffrey Coleman… I. LOVE. YOU." I paused after every word, trying to put all the love I felt for him in those three words that I was sure I would never say to anyone else. Because my heart now belonged to him, and I knew it would be his forever.

  "I love you too, Rhea Burns. Now and always."

  ***

  Christmas had always been the worst time of the year for me. Especially after I lost the only person who knew how to make everything about my life better.

  "The tree looks fantastic," Dad said, entering the living room. It was the first year since mom died that I decided to decorate it. Somehow, I felt less lonely and much more happier than ever. And I guess the reason for it had a name. Jeffrey Coleman. He called me just a few minutes ago, but I already missed the sound of his voice. I wasn't going to see him until next week as we had agreed to spend time together.

  "Thanks." I took a step back and gave my tree a measuring look. I used to adore Christmas and everything that went with it. Even when dad wasn't at home to celebrate it with us.

  "Mom would be happy to see it decorated again."

  I looked at my father and saw sadness crossing his aged features. It looked like mom's death aged him faster than time. He became even more secluded and rarely shared any of his thoughts with me.

  "Can I ask you something?" I dared to say. I knew he wasn't going to like my next question.

  "Sure." He sat down in a nearby chair and so did I, feeling a bit nervous about this whole conversation. I had been postponing it for months. But it was time for us to have it. "I met a guy… He's really nice and we are dating. He accompanied me to the hospital when you were struggling with pneumonia. Do you remember him?"

  "No. I think it's because of the painkillers. I hardly remember anything from my stay in the hospital."

  "His name is Jeffrey Coleman…"

  I watched dad's face turn from peaceful to shocked. "Is he the son of…"

  "Yes."

  "What a small world."

  "Indeed. So I wanted to ask… Did mom know Mr. Coleman? I mean in person. You'd been working for him for so long."

  Dad's face paled. "Why would you ask me questions like that, Rhea?"

  "Are those hard to answer?"

  "She did know him... A long time before I started working for him."

  Now that was a surprise. "So she got to know him before you did?"

  He swallowed and met my stare with caution. "Yes."

  "How did they meet?"

  "She was his consultant on some history issues. It was for one of his very first architectural projects. He then offered her a permanent job, but she quit several months later."

  "Why?"

  "I don't know. She never told me about it."

  "Then how did you end up working for Mr. Coleman?"

  "When your mom and I got married, she said a friend of hers was looking for a driver. He promised a good salary and we were in need of money. I agreed because you were about to be born and I couldn't stay at home and do nothing."

  "I see…" Something was still missing about the whole story that dad was telling me, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

  "Do you know where mom was the day before she died?"

  Dad shook his head. "No. Why?"

  "She and Shelly were gone all day long. I thought it was weird considering she wasn't feeling well."

  "She never told me she went somewhere with Shelly. Maybe they simply went shopping or something."

  "Maybe…" I knew it was not true, but dad seemed to be telling the truth. He didn't know where mom had gone with her friend. "Will you help me lay the table?" I stood up, knowing that he wouldn't tell me anything new, no matter how much there was to say.

  "Of course." He followed me to the kitchen and we never got back to that conversation.

  Instead, we pretended to have the best Christmas ever. We talked about mom and went through her pictures together. Dad was missing her, I could see it. That made two of us.

  At some point, he took my hand in his and said, "I'm so sorry I failed as a father, Rhea. I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have stayed to help you deal with the loss. Instead, I ran away to heal my scars not knowing anything about yours… Will you forgive me, daughter?"

  "I can't say it was easy to get over losing her alone. It taught me a good lesson – to always rely on myself. But I love you, Dad, no matter the reasons that made you do what you did."

  A small tear ran down his cheek. It was the second time in my life that I saw my father crying. "Thank you, Rhea. I owe you a lot more than I can give you. Thank you for not hating me. Because that is exactly what I deserve. I always put my work first, and left my family in second place. It wasn't because I didn't love you; you were the most important people in my life. But I always remembered the time your mom and I found out about her pregnancy. We were so scared we wouldn't be able to give you a good life. That's why I worked so much. I didn't want to be afraid of not being able to give you what you needed. I looked at how other people lived and I wanted a life like theirs. Every time I brought home another paycheck and put in into the box where your mom used to keep our earnings, I was so happy to know that neither you nor she would ever lack anything. Only later did I realize how much I had been missing being away from home for so long. Those were the things I would never get back again. I think you were right when you said she died because of me. I should have noticed she didn't feel well. I should have been there for her when she needed me, but I wasn't. I will be paying for my mistakes for the rest of my existence."

 
With tears in my eyes, I hugged him tight and said, "How about we leave our past in the past?"

  "I'm all for it." He wiped the tears running down my face and kissed my hair.

  Next second, my phone buzzed in my jeans pocket. I looked at the screen and frowned.

  It was Jeffrey, but knowing that he was spending Christmas Eve at home, I didn't expect to hear from him until tomorrow morning.

  "I need to take this," I said and went to my room to have some privacy. I closed the door behind me and answered the call, "Hello?

  But there was silence on the other end of the line.

  "Hello?" I repeated. "Jeffrey, is that you?"

  "You can't tell me what to do, Dad!"

  I looked at the screen again to make sure I wasn't mistaken about the name. Then I put the phone back to my ear and listened.

  "I can and I will!" A man's voice said. Only later did I realize it was Mr. Coleman's voice. "I will not let that girl ruin your future!"

  "You don't know anything about her!"

  "I know her name – that's all I need to know that she's a bad choice for you."

  My heart sank. Without hearing the name of the girl they were talking about, I knew it was me Mr. Coleman called a bad choice for his son.

  But what followed next, was even worse.

  "She and I…it's not as serious as you think it is," Jeffrey said.

  I swallowed hard. I should have ended the call and pretended I never listened to it at all, but I sat on the bed and listened some more. Jeffrey must have dialed my number by accident. He surely wouldn't call me just to make sure I would hear the things he was discussing with his father.

  "You need to break up with her, no matter how serious or not whatever you two share is. This is my final word, Jeffrey. Either you break up with her, or you will never become the head of my company."

  I couldn't believe it was happening…

  I impatiently waited for Jeffrey to say something in response. He loved me, didn't he? He couldn't break up with me just to please his father. He couldn't be that heartless. He…

  "Okay…" He finally said. "I'll do it."

  My hands shook.

  I dropped the phone and it shattered into pieces. Just like my heart that I once gave to the guy who never wanted it. Because all he wanted was his career and a comfortable leather seat in his father's office.

  Well… Who was I to take that dream away from him, right?

  "You will get what you want, Jeffrey Coleman. It's gonna be my Christmas present for you…"

  CHAPTER 15

  Twelve years later

  Rhea

  "Oh, Daddy, what have you done?" I carefully examined the bleeding wound on my father's palm. There was a broken bottle of whiskey lying next to him. The smell of the alcohol was all around the kitchen.

  "I'm sorry, Rhea… I know I promised I wouldn't take a single shot anymore, but I'm too weak to keep that promise."

  I helped him onto his feet and into a rocking chair, standing nearby. "You need to stop doing this, Dad. I can't be here to guard you 24/7. I have work to do, remember?"

  I was seriously tired of the same scene I watched every time I came home for the weekend. After retirement, which happened two years ago, my father lost control over his life and started doing things that I was sure I would never have to deal with. First, it was the casino. He went there every couple of days or so and lost a lot of money there – all thanks to the sum his boss paid for the years of working for him. Sometime later, I realized that seeing him well-oiled was becoming a norm. When I asked if there was something he wanted to tell me, hoping I had imagined things and my dad wasn't turning into a drunken thug, he said he was fine and that drinking wasn't a problem, but a way to relax. He lied, of course. But it took me several months to realize that he was in major trouble and that I needed to do something about it.

  "On Monday I'll take you to rehab," I said, bandaging his wound.

  "But, Rhea…"

  "No more excuses, Dad. You need help and we both know it."

  "I'm completely fine, daughter. I just… Need something to fill up the blank spot in here," he put his healthy palm over his heart and I saw tears glisten in his eyes. "I miss her so much…"

  "Oh, no, we are not going there again, Dad. I have heard this story way too many times. I miss mom too, every single day. But I'm not trying to kill myself with whiskey!"

  "You don't understand, Rhea…"

  "Let's take you upstairs. You need to rest. And don't you even think about drinking again. I'll be here all weekend. If you need to talk, talk to me, not to the damn bottle."

  Holding him by the waist so he wouldn't kiss the floor, I helped him get to his bed and checked the room for any alcohol bottles. After I made sure there were none, I turned the lights off and closed the curtains so he could get some sleep.

  "I'll be here when you wake up," I said, kissing his forehead.

  "I don't deserve a daughter like you, Rhea…"

  "Stop saying nonsense. We are a family, remember?"

  "Family… Yes, of course." He closed his eyes and less than two minutes later, he started snoring.

  At least I would have a couple of hours of peace and quiet.

  I took a deep breath and went to my room to take a shower. After a long week at work, I really needed to recharge my batteries. There was a lot to do around the house, considering I was the only person cleaning it. Dad didn't make it easier for me, leaving dirty clothes all around the house and unwashed dishes in the sink that I then spent a whole Saturday dealing with. Not to mention shopping and cooking for the next five days that I was gonna be away from him.

  My apartment was in Brooklyn, not far from the office I rented for my small but growing architecture firm. We managed to realize a couple of big designing projects and now I couldn't wait for another project confirmation that was going to help my team get to a whole new level of New York designing market.

  The project of my dreams was all about the architectural design for a new trade center that was going to become one of the largest in the city. I couldn't miss the opportunity to make a name for myself as one of the best project designers in New York. Of course, I knew there were other candidates to win the bid, but I kept my fingers crossed anyway.

  I wrapped a white towel around myself and stepped out of the shower.

  "Two more days to wait," I said to my reflection in the fogged up mirror. "You've been waiting for it for so long, you can wait for another forty-eight hours, Rhea. You deserve this chance."

  I sighed and ran one hand through my wet hair. My weekend was going to be super busy. But first, I needed to call Kora. She was going to visit her parents today and I couldn't wait to see her and the boys: Benjamin and Jackson, who also happened to be my godsons. The twins just turned two and their mom was about to get back to her training job which had become her life since five years ago when she ended her professional skating career and decided to open a figure skating school for kids. Needless to say, I was its permanent visitor. Usually I came after all the training sessions were over, when I could skate in quiet and distract myself from work and everyday routine. Kora said I needed to stop working so much and think about family and kids, but I preferred focusing on what I loved doing most of all – designing.

  Every time I walked by the building that had been designed by me pride filled my heart, not to mention interior designs that were my favorite projects to work on. I combined my Fine Arts knowledge with creativity and made the two things create beauty that everyone enjoyed.

  "Hey there, doll! How are you?" Kora asked, answering my call.

  "I'm fine. Too bad I can't say the same about my dad."

  "He's been drinking again, right?"

  "Yeah… And it looks like I will need to take him to rehab. This time, he was so drunk, he broke the bottle and hurt his palm, pretty bad. It can't happen again."

  "Oh, dear… You are right. You need to stop this."

  "I know. I can't leave him alone. S
o how about you come to see me later today? I bought presents for the boys."

  "Sounds like a plan. I'll bring your favorite chocolate pie."

  "Great! See you then!" I put my phone on a vanity table and went to check on dad.

  He sounded deep asleep, so I closed the door to his bedroom and went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

  Summer was really hot this year, but I couldn't live without tea with lemon. I usually made a whole water bottle of it and then left it to cool off. It used to be mom's favorite drink as well.

  Almost 18 years had passed since the day I said my final good-bye to her, but it still felt like it was yesterday. In my mind, she stayed young and beautiful and healthy. I cherished my every memory of her, afraid I wouldn't be able to remember her face one day. I kept a picture of her in my wallet and always took it with me. Now that I was an adult, I missed her even more than I did when I was younger. Or maybe it was because I still felt so lonely and there was no one in my life to fill out the empty space in my heart that was ruined many years ago.

  I rarely went on dates or let men close to me, afraid I would get burned on making the wrong choice again, which was the last thing I needed. My personal life was non-existent and I was completely fine with it. For now.

  After my tea was ready, I poured some into my favorite porcelain cup and went back to my room to get changed before I dived into housecleaning and washing hell. I knew the day was gonna be long, but I could have never imagined it would end up with the worst news ever…

  Kora and I were on the terrace, playing with the kids, when the postman stopped by to give me a certified letter.

  "Please sign here, ma'am."

  I put my signature at the end of the paper that he showed me.

  "Thanks."

  "What's this?" My friend asked after the postman left.

  "Have no idea." I opened the envelope and both she and I started reading the paper that was inside.

  "It's a bank notification," Kora said.

  "Oh, my God… Dad borrowed against the house."

  "How much?" Kora took the paper from my hands and her eyes went round. "It's more than anyone will even give for this place!"