Serene (Shattered Book 3) Page 3

  “Don’t eat too much lilac cake, Stan. Leave some space in your stomach for Emery’s lasagna,” Mike said. “I’d better go help her make it.”

  And so, Kelly got my full attention. Jesse and Paul stayed in the living room to watch a cartoon.

  The girl and I came to one of the bedrooms, and she told me to wait there while she ‘warms up’ the cake. I nodded and sat on a small couch near the window. She disappeared behind the door.

  I looked around the room and saw a small suitcase standing near the bed. I thought for a moment…

  Damn, it must have been Ivy’s room where Kelly told me to wait for her.

  I stood up and was about to leave the room, hoping its owner wouldn’t get angry for my unexpected ‘break in’, when the door to the bathroom opened, and a girl in her mid-twenties walked into the bedroom. She walked to the mirror way too fast, and I didn’t get a chance to see her face. As if she didn’t notice my presence, she took a hairbrush and started combing her long blonde hair. Though I wasn’t sure about the color, her hair was still wet after the shower.

  However, it was her body that I couldn’t take my eyes off…

  She was wearing a set of black lingerie that left so little for my imagination. I felt like all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. Around five feet and three inches, she wasn’t of Victoria’s Secret Angels standards, but what I could see in front of me looked even better, with just enough curves in the right places to drive any sane man crazy. Drops of water glistened on her back and I suddenly wanted to come closer and swipe them with my palms and let them rest on her ivory skin a little longer than needed. All the inappropriate thoughts started to flood my mind, making me daydream of all the naughty things she and I could do in this very room.

  All of a sudden, she asked, “How old are you Dr. Burke?” She had a creamy voice that reminded me of a feather touching your skin with its softness.

  “Um… Thirty-one. Why?”

  “Well, I’m sure a man your age has seen enough half-naked women not to stare at one of them as if it were the first time he saw nothing but lingerie to cover a woman’s body. And considering what you do for a living, lingerie rarely stands in your way to a good view.”

  She was still with her back to me, and I didn’t see her face, but I knew that she was smiling at that moment. Too bad from where I was standing I couldn’t see her reflection in the mirror.

  “How do you know my name?” I asked, still too stunned to think straight. My eyes took their time to run up her legs and then stopped at a perfectly shaped ass. I was not even a bit ashamed of staring at it so openly. After all, I was a plastic surgeon. I could always use my professional interest as an excuse.

  “I didn’t need you to introduce yourself to know that it was you.” She put the hairbrush on a vanity table and reached for the robe hanging on a nearby chair. She put it on and I immediately regretted the change of the view. “Your cologne,” she said, still facing the mirror. “I can feel its notes every time my sister comes back from work. Light and watery, with citrus accords and lime.” She paused and took a deep intake breath. “I like the combination.”

  “Are you a perfumer?”

  “No. But I have a good sense of smell. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get changed for dinner.”

  “Of course.” I gave her one more look and left the room, a bit disappointed to not see her face. But she was going to join us for dinner, and I couldn’t wait for it to begin.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Ivy

  Two years ago

  My eyelids fluttered, but I couldn’t open my eyes, as if something was stopping me from doing it. What time was it? I felt so terribly sleepy, but I couldn’t miss the beginning of my workday. I reached out for the clock that always stood on my bedside table, but found nothing. My palm moved across the smooth surface, meeting nothing on its way. Did someone remove my things? Why?

  Even though my head was still resting on the pillow, it hurt so bad, as if someone had smashed it with a hammer.

  What the hell?

  The sound of sirens filled my mind, making headache hit the maximum.

  Cold… Why did I feel so cold? I could feel a blanket covering my body, but I was trembling.

  Fever… I was fevering.

  Something must be seriously wrong with me, I thought to myself.

  I tried to sit up, but failed. Pain. Everywhere.

  Why there was so much pain? Then a memory flickered in my mind: the red truck, the blinding lights, the breaks squealing and the car flipping, over and over again… Then a full stop and the darkness.

  An accident… I got in a car accident. But wait, I wasn’t alone there!

  Kean. Where was Kean? Was he all right?

  I felt tears pooling in my eyes. Panic seized me.

  I tried to say something, but my lips wouldn’t obey me.

  Agony overwhelmed my body and mind.

  Where was I? In a hospital? Who called the ambulance? Did anyone from my family know about the accident?

  My thoughts returned to Kean again. I needed to see him. I needed to know that he was all right.

  I heard footsteps and a few moments later, the door opened and someone walked into the room. I heard him or her switching the light on, but no light reached my eyes. Only now did I feel that something was covering them. A bandage?

  “Miss Ryan, can you hear me?” A male voice asked.

  “Yes,” I cracked in response. I didn’t recognize my voice. It sounded like it belonged to a stranger.

  “My name is Dr. Cornell. I’m an ophthalmologist. I will remove the bandage from your eyes so I can examine them. Stay still, okay?”

  I nodded shortly, eagerly waiting for him to free my eyes from the bandage.

  But when it happened, nothing changed. Darkness still kept a hold of me.

  “Can you see anything?” Dr. Cornell asked.

  “No.” I wanted to ask if that was okay, considering I just got into an accident.

  But he spoke first, “The side column of the car hit your head. Pretty bad. It must have happened when the car flipped over and then hit the tree.”

  Oh… So that was the reason for my terrible headache.

  “The pieces of broken glass hurt your eyes. But don’t worry, the injuries were not too serious. Apart from that, you have a concussion. And we need to keep you in the hospital for a few more days to watch the changes in your state.”

  “Okay.”

  Something inside me wouldn’t let me calm down. It was as if someone had put a glass of hot water in my chest, filling it up with anxiety that wouldn’t let me go. One more drop and I would feel the heat of fear splashing all over me again. Bad news was coming, I knew it. I could feel it with every fiber of my body and mind.

  Finally, I managed to ask, “Why can’t I see anything?” If he said the injuries were not too serious, I should have been able to see something, even if not very clearly.

  “It’s one of the consequences of the concussion.”

  “How long is it going to last?”

  “I’m not sure, Miss. Things like this differ from case to case.”

  “But it’s temporary, right?”

  “Let’s wait for your test results, okay?”

  I didn’t like his response, but accepted it.

  “My fiancé, Kean… He was driving the car. Is he all right?”

  “He’s waiting outside your ward and he’s fine. He was unconscious when the ambulance arrived, but it was the result of a shock. His physical state was out of danger, because the biggest part of the damage had been done to the passenger side of the car.” He paused for a moment, as if not sure what else to say. “Do you want me to call your fiancé?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Okay, but I need to put the bandage back on your eyes. They might be very sensitive to any change of the light.”

  I nodded again, and waited for the doctor to do his job.

  Something about the whole situation was bothering
me. It wasn’t just about the presence of the bandage on my eyes. It was something else… The fear that I didn’t know how to get rid of. It grew bigger with every heartbeat, as if I already knew that my world would never shine as brightly as it used to, ever again.

  A few moments later, Kean walked into the ward and sat on the edge of my bed. I knew it was him even though I couldn’t see him.

  “Hey,” I said, instinctively reaching out one hand to touch him.

  He took my hand in his and caressed it lightly.

  “How are you feeling?” He asked. Something about his voice was off.

  “I’m alive. That’s all that matters.”

  “Yeah…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Ivy… So sorry… I should have noticed the damn truck… I should have…”

  “Stop. It wasn’t your fault. I was there too, remember? There was no way to escape the crash.”

  After a few silent moments he said, “You scared the hell out of me.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

  “When I opened my eyes and saw the ambulance taking you away…” His voice turned into a whisper. “I thought I would lose my mind; I didn’t know anything about your state, I thought about the worst…”

  “It’s over now. We are both fine. Well, as fine as we can be considering the circumstances.”

  Another pause followed. I didn’t know what Kean was thinking. All I could think about was that he was all right. I didn’t care to be the only victim of the accident. I would cry myself to death if something terrible happened to Kean. I loved him too much to lose him.

  What do they say about love? Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own. I didn’t remember the author of those words, but they were the exact description of how I felt about Kean. If he was happy, I was happy too.

  “I’ve spoken to your doctor,” Kean said. “He says you need to stay here for a few days. Do you want me or your mom to stay here with you?”

  “I’ll be okay, don’t worry. How did everyone take the news about the accident? Did anyone tell Emery about it?” I hoped she and the baby were fine. Worries wouldn’t do them any good.

  “Mike told her about the accident. But we thought it would be better to not tell her about your state. She thinks you are at home now, recovering after one hell of a ride we had.”

  The feeling that Kean was acting weird was getting stronger with every word he said. Even his touch that always brought so much warmth, felt somehow cold.

  “Did the doctor tell you something bad?” I asked.

  He hesitated with the response.

  “Kean? Whatever it is, just tell me the truth. Please.”

  “Everything’s gonna be all right, sweetheart. Now, try to sleep. You need to rest.”

  I didn’t argue with that. I still felt too weak to do anything but rest.

  “Okay.”

  He kissed my hand and stood up, saying, “I’ll come to see later today.”

  “I love you, Kean.”

  “Love you too, Ivy.”

  If someone told me those words of love were as empty as a desert lake, I would say they were insane. I would have never believed the man I loved with all my heart would break it so easily. But when my world switched from day to an endless night, there was no point in trying to find the pieces of my broken heart. It stayed buried beneath the invisible scars that I was sure would bleed for as long as I lived…

  ***

  Present day

  I don’t think I remember the last time I felt so nervous. For some unknown reason, the upcoming dinner made me want to stay locked in my room and never leave it until it was over. Or maybe it was all about the unexpected guest whose presence in my room made all my instincts go on high alert.

  Over the years I used to people being cautious around me. Especially after they heard my story. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, after all, I was blessed to stay alive. Even if at the very beginning of my blind journey, I more than anything wanted to die.

  For months, I’d been trying to get used to the idea of being blind. I still felt like no time would ever be enough to fully accept it. Good news - I didn’t want to die anymore. On the contrary – I wanted to take everything my life had for me in its small hidden pocket. I even started drawing again. I couldn’t see my pictures and most of them were abstract now, but it was still better than sitting in a dark corner, pitying myself and crying over all the lost things that I knew I would never get back.

  Kean was one of those lost things too. He topped the list of them actually. I knew it would be hard for him to believe that my sight wouldn’t return, but I never expected him to leave me right after I was allowed to leave the hospital and come back home. He didn’t go home with me. He didn’t even say goodbye. He just left, as if he never existed at all.

  In fourteen days that felt like the longest two weeks ever, my life changed from a dream to living hell. Every time I bumped into another piece of furniture, I felt like destroying every single piece of it that I could find in my apartment. Then I cursed, a lot, and called my sister, who always came to my rescue.

  We cried for hours: I cried because I knew my life would never be the same again; she – because despite how optimistic she sounded when bringing me home from the hospital, she felt sorry for me and she suffered with me. When after two days of missed calls she entered my hospital ward, I knew she would understand that everyone had been lying to her. She didn’t blame anyone. All she said was “Hope next time someone kicks your ass I’ll be the first person to find out about it.”

  She was the only person officially allowed to feel sorry for me, even laugh at me. No matter how sick someone might think it was. It was what I told her to do whenever she witnessed another failure of mine. It was what she hated doing, but still complied with my wish. Unlike anyone else, she knew why I needed her to be so cruel to me. It was like a kick in the butt that made me get a grip on myself and step over my pain, both physical and mental. Because despite how much she knew about my sufferings, she had no idea what it was like to be blind...

  I needed to learn how to live my new life, and Emery promised she would do her best to help me as much as she could. She stayed with me for weeks, ignoring her job and family. Up until the day she was going to give birth to Paul, she had been taking care of me, talking to me, supporting me and training me.

  I refused to walk with a stick in my hands, so she bought me a navigator that helped me orient when being outside the safety of my apartment where I now knew where every small thing was situated. With time, I got used to living alone and doing everything on my own. Including mixing colors for my new pictures. Each of them had a special sticker glued to the backside of its tube, and with the help of my vivid imagination and skills that I had been developing for years, I returned to what I loved doing most of all – creating new pictures. I also learned how to read and write with Braille’s alphabet and, thank God, Apple devices had all the needed options to simplify my life when using them.

  It felt like everything was getting back to normal, well, as normal as it could be considering I would never become ‘normal’ again. But tonight, I felt like not even Emery’s presence would help me live through our dinner.

  I didn’t feel like I was in control of the situation and it scared me, more than anything in the world.

  Starting two years ago, it had become all about the sounds, the tastes and the speed of the air brushing my skin with every small move I made. I fell many times, but I learned how to wear bruises on my skin as if those were gold medals. I learned how to stand up and keep walking, no matter how much my failures hurt. I told my parents and Emery to leave everything in my place just the way it used to be before the accident happened. Every morning I woke up with the only thought in my head – I need to live my life as if nothing has ever happened. I will not let myself down. I will survive. I will be happy again.

  I can’t say I managed to keep all of those promises given to my old self. But one of them
I definitely managed to keep – I never let myself down.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned to my suitcase and pulled out a simple dark-blue dress that my sister and I bought a few days before my failed wedding. It was strapless and ended right above my knee. With my eyes still unable to see anything, I couldn’t buy any new clothes without Emery’s help. As I have already said, she was the only person allowed to witness my numerous moments of weakness. So when it came to shopping, she was my permanent and only company. She hated going shopping with me, but what choice did she have? After all, I was her only sister and she loved me. She knew my likes and dislikes and I honestly had no idea what I would do without her. No one would be able to handle the new me better than she would. Not even my parents could accept the fact that their daughter was somehow different now. I knew how much it hurt to see me like this, despite how non-blind I acted in their presence. I never asked for help with food or dressing or anything else that got harder with my vision gone. And even though I couldn’t see my parents’ faces, I always knew when tears blinded their eyes.

  I ran my palm down the smooth fabric of the dress and smiled. I didn’t even know why I put it in the suitcase. I never wore fancy dresses for dinners at my sister’s. I preferred jeans and T-shirts, or jumpsuits, but never a dress.

  I pulled the zipper of the dress down and put it on over my head. My hair was still wet after the shower, so I took a hair dryer that Emery left on my vanity table and dried them, letting them fall down my shoulders and back. Makeup was one of a few things that I still needed to learn how to do properly. But tonight I decided to go with a lip-gloss only that any girl knows how to apply even with her eyes closed or in a moving car, with her other hand holding a wheel.

  God, I missed driving my car. Of all the things from my ‘seeing’ life, I missed the sound of a roaring engine even more than Ian Somerhalder’s face in Vampire Diaries. My car was still parked in my garage, so from time to time I went down there, sat behind the wheel and imagined speeding down the road to somewhere I could find another beautiful view to draw on paper.

  A part of me still believed that one day, I would see my pictures for real and not just in my imaginary world. The hope was so tiny; it would fit in a newborn’s palm. But it was mine and no one could take it away from me.