From Scratch (Love Lines) Page 4

  Thank God, I didn’t see Kevin often. And I didn’t know how his relationship with Tara was going. Once or twice I heard rumors about my brother spending time with other girls, but officially he and Tara were still dating.

  Chapter 8

  October 2nd, 2005

  Today was the day of the annual Festival of Arts. I was one of the best students of my faculty, and I was honored to show an individual performance, prepared beforehand.

  The only natural element I possessed was earth. I could control everything that was connected to it without any magic. Though possessing the element could also be called magic, because it needed experience, concentration, energy and talent. I inherited that gift from my mother. She used to be a Vero’s student too.

  Elizabeth Murray was a hereditary Wizardy, but as every other member of this family, before entering the same-named faculty she had to graduate from one of the main Dever’s departments. Unlike her, my father’s element was the wind. Dominic Murray was one of the Meridin’s students.

  More than two months passed since the last time I opened my diary. Many things changed, except for one – I still couldn’t stop thinking about Tara. Our fights became more uncontrollable, and my feelings for her became stronger. I knew she wanted to be with me too, but neither of us wanted to say it first. Despite the rumors about my brother and his night entertainments, I kept my mouth shut and never told him about me and Tara. He still loved her, and I realized that Kevin, loving someone else besides himself, was a big deal by itself. I knew my words would break his heart. But sometimes my fury was unbearable. When I saw him touching Tara, I wanted to kill him.

  A few days ago I heard a very interesting conversation, as I was coming back from classes. Passing by Tara’s room, I hear Kevin’s voice. The door was half-opened, so I could hear their conversation pretty clearly.

  “So,” Kevin said, “do you love him?” Judging by the voice, he wasn’t angry. Rather upset, or disappointed.

  “Yes, I do.” The moment I heard Tara’s response, my heart missed a beat. Whom are they talking about?

  “What about him? Does he love you too?” This time Kevin’s question sounded harsh.

  “I don’t know,” Tara said quietly. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m breaking up with you, not because of him, but because of my own feelings. I’m sorry, Kevin. I can’t lie to you anymore and I.…”

  “Seriously?” Kevin snapped. “And here I thought you had a lot of opportunities to tell me about your feelings during all those months we dated. Don’t you think so? For how long exactly have you been fooling me? Did you sleep with him?”

  “What? No! Of course, not! All I’m saying is that I don’t love you anymore and I’m sorry. Really sorry. I know your feelings for me were real. But I don’t see you in my future, Kevin. And it means you and me… we will never be together again.”

  “Oh, so that’s what it’s all about! Do you see him in your future?”

  “No… I mean… I told you it’s not about him.”

  “Then I don’t understand anything.” Kevin took a deep breath. “Maybe you just need some time to figure out everything? I will wait as long as you need, Tara. We don’t have to break up.”

  “There’s no point in waiting, Kevin. I don’t feel the same about you. Can’t you see that? I will never be able to make you happy if I’m not happy myself!”

  Kevin was almost whispering and I barely managed to hear his words, “Do you really think I can be happy without you?”

  “Yes, I do. I want you to be happy and you will. If you move on. Without me.”

  “Well, I guess it’s over then.” There was a pause and then my brother said, “I just want you to know that I still love you, Tara. And I always will. I can’t make you stay with me and I don’t want to. I can see you are suffering and I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know, Kevin. And I will always be grateful for those amazing moments we spent together. I used to be truly happy with you. That’s why I want to stop now. Before those memories are ruined by our fights. I know that we need more time to get used to being apart, but I’m sure it’s for the best. You will see that in a few years we will be laughing, recalling this conversation. Everything’s gonna be okay….”

  “I hope so,” Kevin said and I heard his footsteps, indicating the end of their conversation. I tiptoed to my room and closed the door quietly behind me.

  God knew, all I wanted now was to be with Tara. But I thought she needed to be alone, and I still wasn’t sure if she wanted to see me. Saying she loved someone she could mean anyone….

  I was running out of time. I had only half an hour to get ready for the Festival’s show. But all my thoughts were wrapped around the conversation I heard previously. It was really hard to make myself think about my performance. I needed to see Tara and I hoped I would be able to see her before my show began.

  My prayers were heard, and I saw her right before the show. She was chatting with some girls, but when she saw me she waved and smiled sheepishly. It was all I needed. I smiled back, took a deep breath and went to the arena.

  I liked working with the sand. It was one of the easiest earth materials to work with. Sandy figures always turned out to be very beautiful.

  I used white sand as the basis of my today’s performance. Its grains were shimmering in the light, creating an illusion of a thin transparent fabric. It was moving slowly around the arena changing its colors and shapes. It was supposed to turn into a picture I created in my mind – a portrait of a girl from my dreams. Her eyelids were half-hidden under the sundown that she was holding with one hand. The wind was playing with her sandy curls and the girl was smiling.

  She was perfect, like a picture I could only admire but never touch. She was my out-of-reach dream and my true love. She was my heart and my soul, my power and my weakness. And her features looked so much like Tara’s. But I didn’t care. I wanted to fill the whole world with her beauty, to imprint her image in my mind and never let it go. I wanted to lose myself in her, drown in her embrace, melt in her scent and die with her kiss.

  I wanted her to smile only at me, to see only me, to love only me. I recalled those months I spent without her. Every single day I was trying to picture her in my mind, to embrace her with my eyes, to kiss her with my breath. Every time she was passing by, my heart stopped beating and I was dying to reach out my hand and touch her skin, and feel it’s warmth on mine. And now thinking about her I was happier than ever. I loved her like never before, and I knew that no matter what happened I will keep this love in my heart forever.

  That night was the first time I asked Tara out. God knows how much courage I needed to do that. But she accepted the invitation and it was my personal small victory.

  Chapter 9

  I was as nervous as ever. I was waiting for her in the Embry’s garden, counting the seconds before her arrival. My heart was swimming in happiness and it felt so good. I was looking forward to our meeting, and my feelings were intoxicating. I was smiling to myself like an idiot, and thank God, I was alone and no one saw my crazy happy dancing.

  The moment I saw her, everything around me froze. She was standing in the shadows, but I could see the light in her eyes. I knew she was fully sharing my excitement. I could swear I heard every beat of her heat and her every breath. Her aura was glowing with love and happiness, and its golden and bright-pink sparkles were making her even more beautiful, irresistible and desirable.

  Insensibly I took one step forward and kept moving until I reached the edges of her aura. My desire to be as close to her as possible was so strong that I hesitated, afraid to ruin the bond pulling us to each other. I felt her excitement and I could see her aura turning purple-blue. There was no way back. I took one last step, pulled her slowly to me and kissed her lips, enjoying their sweetness. Nothing else mattered. Only her. And she was kissing me back with all the passion and need I felt myself. We were satisfying each other’s hunger, melting in the waves of our intimacy as if it was our last
time together.

  The beating of our hearts, our breathing and our moves felt like the most beautiful music I’d ever heard, the most sensuous dance I’d ever had, and the most unbelievable magic I’d ever felt in my veins. Everything seemed too good to be true. I couldn’t believe that she could belong to me….

  That night was a starting point in our relationship that was predestined to end too soon. And despite the fact that we didn’t know that, we tried to give each other as much love as we could. We had been waiting for too long and now the only thing we wanted was to be together in all the possible ways.

  I took Tara to my room, started a fire in the fireplace and lit a few candles I had on my window sill and bedside table. We were not ashamed of our love, and we were ready to show just how much we loved each other.

  I came to Tara and took off her jacket, kissing her neckline and bare shoulders. Her skin was smooth and warm, and it felt like silk under my fingers.

  I didn’t see her face, but I knew she was smiling. And I smiled too, saying, “I think I can easily get used to undressing you.”

  She giggled and turned around to face me. “Same here,” she said, unbuttoning my shirt. Without breaking the eye contact, she moved down to my waistband and pulled out my shirt, taking it off my shoulders. God, I liked the way her palms were sliding over my upper body and down to my chest. My muscles tightened beneath her touch, and I bent to kiss her, while my arms moved to the edge of her blouse, pulling it up. When I got rid of that piece of fabric I pressed her body to mine.

  We both shivered from the feeling of our bare skin touching. The scent of her body was intoxicating. I inhaled deeply, trailing small kisses over her skin, down to her breast and belly. I was almost kneeling if front of her when I looked up and saw pure desire in her eyes.

  “More?” I asked her in a whisper. She didn’t say a word. Instead she kneeled too, and pushed me to the carpet, covering my body with hers. “I’ll take that as a yes,” I said, smiling. Her smart remark died on her tongue as I pressed my lips to hers, giving her everything she wanted and more. Her tongue slid inside my mouth and I sucked it lightly, making her groan quietly. I stifled my own groaning, lifted her body so I could move and scoot her back over. “I’ve been dreaming about this moment for months,” I said into her ear, biting lightly its lobe.

  She chuckled, “I kind of figured that much.”

  I lifted a hand to brush my fingers across her cheek. Her breath caught and she closed her eyes, enjoying the touch.

  “I love you,” I said, still holding her cheek in my palm.

  She took my face in her hands and whispered, “I love you too.”

  My heart missed a beat and my lips met hers in a perfect, and the most amazing kiss I’d ever had. Well, of course, none of them had ever been filled with so much love.

  Chapter 10

  Day after day our feelings for each other were becoming stronger. I couldn’t imagine my life without Tara. And I knew she felt the same way. I saw her love in her every glance, and no matter how much time we spent together it was never enough.

  The only, and the biggest problem was Kevin. Once I tried to talk to him, but all I got in response was a sardonic chuckle, indifferent nod and a few words like, “I’m glad for you two. Be happy.” And though I think we don’t have to apologize for loving someone, my last word to him was ‘sorry’.

  He still loved Tara. I couldn’t change it. And neither could he. It was beyond his power. Sometimes I caught him watching her when he thought no one was watching him. And there was so much pain in his eyes that I had never seen there before. And frankly, I never thought my brother was able to love anyone. What do they say… you can’t read another man’s soul? How very true. I felt guilty about his suffering, but the amount of love I was feeling every day eclipsed the screaming of my conscience. Anything was worth it. Even if I would have been damned in my afterlife.

  Some time later Kevin’s attitude toward me and Tara being together changed. I was sure it was just a mask he put on to hide his vulnerability. He spent most of his time with his friends, and girls (the amount of which was growing every day). His life turned into unstoppable sexcapades and drinking. And every time I saw him leaving another girl's room in the morning, I realized that compassion was the last on the list of what I felt for my brother. No amount of love would ever be enough to change him. Unfortunately. He never cherished what he had, and he never needed anything that included duties, faith and devotion.

  November 20th , 2009

  So many things changed in four years. It’s my last semester at the faculty of Vero. According to the results of my exams I’m going to precede my education at the department of Wizardy. Three more years in Dever….

  Tomorrow is Tara’s birthday and it means that her time here is over. I have already found her a present – a ring with five round rubies, symbolizing my love.

  I don’t know why, but I feel like something has changed in Tara. Not that she stopped loving me or anything. But something’s wrong and she refuses to tell me what it is about. I can see those changes in her mood, in the way she touches me or makes love with me. As if she were losing me….

  Once I said I would love to spend the rest of my life with her and our kids. I asked her if she could see anything about our future, but she said she never tried to foresee it, though something in her eyes told me otherwise. Since then I have been wondering if her visions are the reasons for her weird behavior. Does she see me in her future? She never answers this question.

  Chapter 11

  November 21st, 2009

  The day sucked from the very beginning, and I should have realized that it wouldn’t end well. I woke up with a horrible headache that none of my pills helped me with. Thank God, it was Sunday and I didn’t have classes. I took a shower, got dressed, and went to one of my Embry’s friends, who was supposed to make a bouquet for Tara. But as it turned out, it wasn’t ready and I had to wait for about an hour to get it.

  Out of nowhere came Tara, holding in her hands a part of what looked like her future bouquet. In reality it was Kevin’s present. That bastard sent her the very same flowers I was going to give her.

  “Don’t be mad, Evan,” Tara said, touching my arm. “Kevin is my friend and he always sends me flowers on birthdays.”

  “Right,” I muttered angrily, embracing her. Only later I saw that she didn’t look good. “Is everything okay? Did you…cry?” I never saw Tara crying, but today her eyes were puffy and she was avoiding my gaze.

  “No, why would I?” she said in response. Her words didn’t sound convincing. Was she sad about the graduation? Or?.. “I’d better go get ready for the evening. I guess there’s a surprise waiting for me.” She smiled, but I was still frowning, trying to figure things out.

  “Yeah, sure. See you later,” I said absently, kissing her hair. She hurried to the dorms, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

  That night she looked absolutely stunning, wearing a short dark-purple dress, outlining every curve of her body. Her hair was done in curls and cascaded down her right shoulder. She was laughing and chatting. Her sadness was suddenly gone.

  I came closer, put my arm around her waist and said softly, “Shall we dance?” She flinched from my touch, making me frown again. She never reacted like that. But then she turned around, leaned closer and kissed my lips, making me forget about anything else. “Or shall we go somewhere else?” I asked her breathless, breaking the kiss.

  “We can’t leave now, Evan. I have guests, remember?” She touched my lips with the tip of her finger, wiping away the print of her lipstick. I couldn’t help myself, I caught her hand and touched that little finger with the edge of my tongue, feeling the pulsing need of my body. “Not now,” Tara said, smiling. I rolled my eyes, disappointed.

  “Screw them all. Let’s run away.”

  “Let’s dance first,” she said, leading me to the dance floor.

  We were celebrating her birthday in a jasmine garden, as it was her favorite
place in all of Dever. There were about a dozen other people around us. Including my best friend Christian, whom I met the day of my first class in Dever.

  Our meeting was hilarious. I got to the wrong audience and was immediately wrapped in a circle of fire created by him. My to-be best friend fried my eyebrows. Like literally fried them! First I thought I would kick his smart ass, but the moment I felt his power, and saw how unbelievably beautiful the flames of fire flowing in the air were, I forgot about my revenge and started asking questions about his gift. We’ve been best friends for ages, and I never regretted my lost eyebrows. Now I have new ones, and a friend, always ready to cover my ass if necessary. And trust me, I need his help a lot.

  “What are you thinking about?” Tara asked, touching my chin.

  “Just remembered my first meeting with Christian.”

  “Oh, and I thought you were starring at his ‘boobsy’ date.”

  I laughed quietly. “Her name is Carla, and Christian didn’t really want to bring her here tonight, but ladies can be very persuasive, you know?” I winked at her.

  “Aha. So I thought. How long have they been dating?”

  “Um…about 20 hours or so and I don’t think it can be called ‘dating’.”

  “Right. So when am I going to see your present?”

  I hesitated for a moment. Tara’s sad eyes came to my mind, and I thought maybe she wouldn’t like my present. “Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. Sink or swim! “It’s just about time for you to see it.” I reached for a small velvet box, waiting in my jacket’s pocket, looked at Tara and said, “I want you to have this small present as a reminder of me. I want you to keep it no matter what. It doesn’t involve any commitment or anything. It’s just a sign of my love for you.” Then I opened the box and Tara gasped.