Louise Read online

  “Marlena locked it after she found a pack of cigarettes there. Those were not mine, they were Bob’s, but of course, she didn’t believe me.”

  “I see.” I yawned. “Take mine for as long as you wish. I don’t need it anyway.”

  There were kids whose biological parents always sent them clothes and sweets. But in my opinion, that was even worse than being abandoned forever. How was it even possible to send your child to an orphanage and then start sending him or her gifts as if they still cared? Nonsense…

  “Thanks, Lu. You are the best.” Tess hugged me tight and rushed out of the room.

  There were three more girls sharing the room with us. Adele was only three, so she still had a few years to enjoy her ‘normal’ life, with no need to think about ‘work’. She was an adorable kid. Always happy and smiling. She didn’t understand what was going on there yet. She didn’t know anything about the people who had left her there, and the not-knowing was her biggest gift, at least for now.

  Sara and Michaela, our other roommates, were almost fourteen. They didn’t talk to us much, thinking we were too young to be their ‘buddies’. I didn’t care. I had Tess. At least back then, I didn’t know she would be the first person to betray me…

  Chapter 1

  New York, 2013

  My first day of freedom…

  It was probably the first day in my entire life when I didn’t rush to leave Paradise. I was standing on the porch of the place I had been hating for as long as I could remember, but somehow, today it didn’t seem nearly as scary or awful anymore. I looked back at the windows of the building that looked older than any other place in the city, and smiled. I was finally free; nothing and nobody could make me stay there any longer.

  Two years ago, when it was time for Tess to leave, I cried my eyes out. I didn’t want to let her go. I couldn’t imagine living without the only person whose presence had always been the only ray of light in the endless tunnel of my dark and hopeless life.

  “Everything’s going to be fine,” she said back then, giving me a goodbye hug. “I’ll be coming to visit you every day, I swear.” Thank God, at that very moment neither of us knew her words were never supposed to come true. Not that she didn’t try to keep her promise, she just wasn’t allowed to come back at all, ever, for any reason. At first, I thought she forgot about me, then I thought she was too busy with her new, independent life and didn’t have the time to stop by Paradise to see me. Then I found out the children who grew up there didn’t have a right to see their friends, in or outside the orphanage. Maybe Marlena thought they could help us run away, or something. Unfortunately, I didn’t know the answer to that question.

  Today, was the first day in years I hoped I would finally get a chance to find my friend. Even though we hadn’t seen each other for so long, I still felt like Tess had always been there for me. Before leaving, she left a small package for me. She said I could open it whenever I needed her help. And so I did. One day, I came back from ‘work’ a little later than usual, and of course, I was punished. Marlena locked me in my room for two days, with a glass of water and a piece of bread that was supposed to keep me alive for 48 hours. After I was finally allowed to come out and go to ‘work’ again, I made a decision — I decided to run away. I knew it was damn near impossible to do, but I still wanted to try my luck. I took the package Tess had left and went to the station, as if I were just going to work, like any other day. When I got to the station, it was still too early for people to show up there. So I sat down and carefully opened the package.

  You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought to myself, quickly closing the box I had hidden in a paper. I looked around frantically, hoping no one saw what was inside the box. Inside there was money, and a lot of it… Only when I was back ‘home’ and made sure the door to my room was locked, I sat on my bed and counted the sum of the money which turned out to be five thousand dollars. Along with the money, there was a short note from Tess that said I should never ever try to run away. It didn’t say anything else, but somehow, I knew it was a warning I should listen to.

  Since then, I never starved again. Even if Marlena was being her usual bitchy self, and sent me to work without breakfast, I still managed to eat in a place where no one could see me, and I always came back to my room full, which was probably the only thing that could make me happy; there was nothing else to smile about.

  My days were still the same, the only difference being I was counting every second until the moment I would be able to leave Paradise forever. And that time had finally come. So there I was, standing on the porch, enjoying the late August night and finally being able to breathe freely. I’d never felt as good as I did at that very moment. I took my small suitcase in my hands and headed for the gates. I pushed them open with a massive sigh of relief, knowing I was getting ready to head into my new and free world, which I called my new life.

  I didn’t have a place to live yet, but Marlena had given me a name. According to her words, he could help me settle down in the big city. I didn’t know Drew in person, and maybe if I did, I wouldn’t go to him, ever. But back then, I didn’t have a choice but to follow Marlena’s advice.

  I arrived to Le Papillon in the middle of the night, but to my surprise, the place was still open and full of people going in and coming out the huge, glass doors. I doubted Drew was French or even knew anything about France, but apparently he thought calling his club A Butterfly in a different language would attract more attention, male attention mostly.

  I didn’t know much about the club, the only thing Marlena told me was that I could make my biggest dream come true there. I wanted to be a dancer. I’d been dreaming about it since I was ten. Everyone at Paradise knew I loved dancing. So when the time came for me to leave the orphanage, I thought I would go to a dancing school and try to become a professional dancer. But we all know how much of a bitch fate can be, and in my case, this was not an exception.

  “Hey, you! Yes, you! What’s your name?” A girl in her mid twenties came over to me, apparently noticing my hesitation. I had a very bad feeling about going inside the club.

  “It’s Louise,” I said, shifting from one foot to the other.

  “Oh, so you are a newbie. I’m Kate by the way. Come on, I’ll show around.”

  “I’m not sure I came to the right address,” I said, still hesitating.

  “Did Marlena send you?”

  “Yes. How do you know that?”

  Kate smirked, looking at me from head to toe.

  “Girls like you are always sent here by Marlena.”

  “What do you mean by girls like me?”

  “You ask way too many questions for someone who has nowhere else to go.”

  I flinched. I didn’t like the sound of her words. Yes, I was used to people making fun of me, laughing, and even calling me a tramp. But now that I thought my life would be so much different from what it used to be in Paradise, I didn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t stand up for myself.

  “Pride is one of those things that no one gives a damn about here. So you’d better leave it outside if you want to get this job and have roof over your head.”

  “What kind of a job are we talking about here?” I looked skeptically at the club’s entrance again, and a very bad feeling formed inside me. “Is it a strip club?”

  Kate laughed, throwing her red, curly hair back.

  “Don’t you ever dare to say that aloud in Drew’s presence. You’ll be thrown out into the street in no time flat.” She snapped her fingers, apparently to add emphasis on her time frame.

  “So it’s not a strip club then, is it?”

  “Of course, not! We don’t strip here, we dance. Cabaret dancing. Ever heard about it?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “Good. Now that we are finished talking, why don’t we go inside and I will introduce you to our boss?” Kate put one hand around my shoulders and pulled me to the glass doors.

  I can do this, can’t I? It’s not like I
have to stay here, I can find a different place to live and work, right?

  No. I was so damn wrong. I had had no idea my future had already been planned for me. Marlena didn’t just send girls to Le Papillon, she sold us. And we, in turn, didn’t have a choice but to work off every cent Drew had to pay for us. I was trapped before I even left Paradise, again, I just hadn’t realized it… The only difference was now my prison was not a dirty orphanage, but a shining club, filled with perfume, laughter, drinks and rich clients.

  “Drew, your new girl is here!” Kate knocked at the door of her boss’s office and smiled at me. “Wait here. He’ll see you soon.” And then, she left, leaving me to stand in the middle of a huge room by myself, decorated with mirrors, red carpets and matching curtains. I only hoped it was not going to turn into a scene out of some horror movie. The interior of the room was damn scary.

  I looked around and saw a small couch near one of the mirrors. I sat down and looked at my reflection. I didn’t know why Marlena thought I would be good at a dancing job. Yes, she saw me dance a couple of times, but I didn’t look like a professional dancer, at all. I was more like a country girl who came to the big city with stars in my eyes, hoping to get famous by starting a new and better life dancing. I was wearing a simple, knee-length, blue dress, with a pair of worn shoes I doubted would survive even one more day. And I had no idea what to do next.

  “Louise Woods, correct?”

  I turned when I heard a male voice and nodded, saying, “Yes, that’s my name.”

  “I’m Drew Berry. Come in, I need you to sign a few papers.”

  “Aren’t you going to see if I can dance first, before you just give me the job?”

  He laughed. “Even if you don’t know a damn thing about dancing, you will learn everything you need to know here.”

  I inhaled deeply and followed Drew into his office that turned out to be even bigger and even more awful than the waiting room. There were pictures everywhere, pictures of men and women dancing. But they were not beautiful or graceful, rather too fussy and tasteless. Just like their owner. Drew looked like a man transported from the 90s. With his dark hair, brown eyes, dark-green shirt and a thick golden chain around his neck, he reminded me of a gangster. I bet people never dared to stand in his way.

  “Sit down, Louise. I hope you didn’t have any problems finding the club.”

  “No, I did not.”

  “Good. Le Papillon is a closed club. Not everyone is allowed in here. So if you ever want your friends or anyone else to come and watch you dance, you need to ask for my permission, first. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Call me Drew. We are a family here. No drama, no fights. If you have any problems, it is better to come and tell me about them, than start a fight with the girls.”

  “Okay. Can I ask you something, S… I mean Drew?”

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  “What if I refuse to work for you?” I regretted the words the second they flew out of my mouth.

  Slowly, Drew put his pen on the table and rose to his feet, staring down at me. “Let me make myself clear, Sweetie. Girls who come here, stay here. Marlena or whoever else sends you to me, knows I hate disobedience. She should have warned you about asking questions like that...”

  But she didn’t. And I guess I knew why. Marlena knew me too well to believe I would just agree to work for Drew willingly. That’s why she didn’t tell me anything about him, or his club, apparently hoping that when I got here, I wouldn’t get a chance to leave. And she was right.

  “I paid for you,” Drew said, making the fear running through my veins flow even faster. “Now you owe me. And you are going to stay here and work for as long as it takes to work off every last penny I paid for your pretty face.”

  “What do you mean you paid for me? I’m an adult, you have no right to buy me or force me to work for you.”

  He smirked, coming closer to where I was sitting.

  “Now listen to me, Little Scratch Cat. I made a deal with Marlena, and I have a document signed by you, according to which you agree to work for me in exchange for food and bed.”

  My heartbeat speed up, and I felt a little dizzy.

  “What document are you talking about?” I asked in a whisper. My throat was so dry, I felt like I was about to suffocate.

  “The one you signed before leaving the orphanage,” he said, showing me a piece of paper I didn’t even remember holding in my hands. And then… Well then, I remembered signing it. Or to be exact, I remembered signing the papers that allowed me to leave Paradise.

  I didn’t read them. My goodness, why didn’t I bother to read them? Oh, right… I was so happy that my torture was finally over and I could finally be free, I would have signed anything to just leave as quickly as humanly possible and never look back. I can’t believe I was such an idiot. You are one, hopeless idiot, Louise!

  I sighed, giving the papers back to Drew. “Yes, the signature is mine,” I said, feeling as if I had just signed my own death sentence.

  He smiled, self-satisfied. “I told you, you are staying here and it is inescapable. But don’t worry, you will like it here. Everyone does. Girls who work for me, never want to find a different job. But there’s one rule that you would be best to remember. You are not a slut, you are not allowed to sleep with the clients. You can dance for them, even privately. But sleeping with the clients will automatically throw you out of here, with no money and no right to work in any other club, dancing or not.”

  Well, that is at least some good news. I sure as hell was not ready to become a prostitute.

  “I understand.”

  “Good girl. I’ll call Kate, the girl who brought you here. She’ll show you around.”

  “Am I allowed to go out?”

  “Of course you are. Once a week you will have a day off. You may spend it wherever you want. But you need to get back here by midnight. Otherwise, you will be amerced to pay thirty percent of your next salary. Oh, and one more thing before you go… Don’t even think about running away. I’ll find you anywhere.” Again, Drew smiled with that awful self-satisfied smile of his, and I thought I should probably follow his advice. After all, I was not being forced to sleep with anyone, and dancing had always been my dream.

  So what if I work for Drew for a while? It doesn’t mean I will have to work for him for the rest of my life, does it?..

  I rose to my feet, took my suitcase and followed my boss to the door. Kate was already waiting for me outside.

  “Show Louise her room, and find her something to eat. I bet she hasn’t eaten anything for hours. Are you hungry?”

  I shook my head. I was a little hungry, but I was too scared by everything that was going on around me, I simply couldn’t think about food right now.

  “Don’t worry, Boss. She’ll be fine,” Kate said, taking me by the hand.

  “Give her a few days to get used to living here. Then, you may start training her.”

  I swallowed hard. I didn’t know if I could dance in front of so many people. Even though the club was a closed place, I was still sure my audience would consist of at least a few dozen people.

  “Don’t take him too seriously,” Kate said, closing the door to Drew’s waiting room. “He only wants to seem dangerous, but he’s a good man. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. His only weakness is money. So if he scared you with the obligation of working for him forever, forget it. He will let you go as soon as you work off the sum he paid for you.”

  “How soon?”

  “Depends on the sum. But usually, it’s no more than two or three years.”

  “How did you get here?”

  “We all get here the same way. Drew bought me. He saw me dancing in a trashy night club and offered its owner a very good deal. The old douche agreed, and here I am.”

  “How long have you been working for Drew?”

  “Oh, God… I don’t even remember. Around six or seven years, why?”

  “Which
means you stayed here even after you were allowed to leave, right?”

  “Yep. I like it here. Good salary, food, clothes, I pretty much have everything. What else can I wish for?”

  “Don’t you want to have more than this?”

  Kate’s smile faded. “I used to have so much more than this. But then, I realized it didn’t make me happy. But that’s a long story, maybe one day, I’ll tell you everything. And now, here’s your room. All clean, spacious, and yours.”

  “Wow…” Was the only thing I could say at the sight of my new ‘home’. It was nothing like my room at Paradise. Kate was right, it was very spacious, maybe even a little too big for one person. It was not luxurious or anything, but all the furniture was new, the sheets and blankets were clean, but the most surprising part of the room was the wardrobe, hidden behind transparent doors. And it was full of shining dresses, shoes, and other attributes of dancing costumes I had only seen in the movies.

  “Is it all mine?”

  “Yes, it is. You are going to need something to start out, Doll. You will need it all for your shows.”

  I took one of the hats with long white feathers and shining crystals, it was heavier than my entire suitcase. I laughed, “Is that even possible to wear it on my head without breaking my neck?”

  Kate laughed too. “Hats are a real pain in the ass, but you’ll get used to wearing them. I’ll show a few tricks. Later.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Nothing to thank me for, Darling. I’ll go find you something to eat, be right back.”

  I nodded and turned back to the wardrobe that still seemed too big and too magical to believe it now belonged to me. For the first time in my entire life, I felt like I was in a fairytale and not in hell.

  Maybe staying here won’t be as bad as I originally thought?..

  Chapter 2

  Nothing on earth could make me fall asleep that night. Kate was back after a few minutes with a tray full of food and a cup of hot tea.

  “What time do I need to be up for breakfast?” I asked, sinking my teeth into a piece of fried chicken. It tasted like heaven, with just enough spices to make my appetite grow even more.