From Scratch (Love Lines) Read online

  “And I hope next time will be less painful,” I muttered to myself, heading for the door.

  A few hours later my body felt the result of every failure of my training. My back and my arms were covered with bruises and tiny red scratches. I had to strap my wrist, because judging by the pain I felt moving it, I had gotten it dislocated. In other words I was fully ready for the ball. Though everything of the above faded in comparison with Tara and me spending the night together….

  But she surprised me coming to my room a few hours before the appointed meeting. I was taking a shower, when someone knocked at my door. I toweled hurriedly and went to open it.

  The moment Tara saw me, wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped around my waist, she turned pink and lowered her eyes. “I just wanted to say… that my favorite flower is… jasmine,” she mumbled, twitching nervously the edge of her blouse.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, confused. I was too focused on her face to understand the meaning of her words.

  “Jasmine,” she repeated, lifting her eyes and apparently trying really hard not to let them slide down to my naked chest. “You need to find jasmine for tonight as the gentlemen are supposed to bring their ladies’ favorite flowers. It’s a tradition…” She stopped and swallowed as if her throat was too dry to finish the sentence. Then she moistened her lips with the edge of her tongue and I almost groaned, dying to taste them.

  Instead I said, “Of course. I will find it.”

  Tara nodded and only then she let herself look at me properly. “Oh, my God! What happened? You are bruised! And your arm…” She took it instinctively in her hands and I flinched from the pain her touch caused.

  “It’s nothing. Bad luck, I guess. One very smart girl managed to deck me a few times in a row.”

  Tara frowned. “Does it hurt so much you can’t even stand my touch? You need to show your hand to Mrs. Weber. You could have broken it.”

  “It’s just a sprain. Nothing serious.”

  “It doesn’t look like that.”

  “I’m fine, Tara. Seriously.” I raised my hand and tried to move it, clenching my teeth so as not to show how painful it really was. “So do not exaggerate and if you are trying to find an excuse to miss the ball, I’m not buying it. Unlike Kevin, I would get there even on crutches, knowing that my girlfriend is going to spend the night with someone else.”

  “Very funny, Evan.” Tara grimaced. “Now, I can see that you are okay. So I’ll see you at eight at the Great Hall’s entrance.” I smiled, closed the door behind her and went to finish shaving.

  My bravado was leaving me with every passing hour as the pain of my numerous injuries was getting on my nerves. I went to one of the Embry’s gardens and took a few jasmine flowers tying them with a white satin streamer so that Tara would put them on her wrist. Coming to the Great Hall’s entrance I saw a few dozen students stranding there, chatting and laughing. But I couldn’t find my date.

  I turned around and caught the familiar scent of her perfume. It was a mixture of apples, lime and something sweeter. Tara was standing in a company of some girls I didn’t recognize. She saw me too, and waved, smiling. She was wearing a long, strapless, silver dress made of some flimsy material that was swaying slowly with her every move. Her hair was caught up on one side and I could enjoy the view of her perfect neckline and bare shoulders.

  She could feel my stare and the moment our gazes locked, the reality around us froze in time. I didn’t know what she was thinking about, but I knew that all I could think about was her being only mine… and I was ready to sacrifice everything to know that she belonged to me. Frankly, I was surprised a little to realize that. Of course, there were other girls I liked to spend time with, but none of them I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was the first time since the moment of coming to Dever that my conscience stabbed me. And it was saying that the girl in front of me wasn’t just a girl, but my brother’s love. And unlike anything else, our feelings for her were the same….

  “Hey,” Tara said, coming up to me.

  “You look amazing. This is for you.”

  “Thanks.” She gave me her hand and I tied the flowers around her wrist. I refused to let it go too soon. I bent to kiss her palm and held her gaze for a second, enjoying the way her eyes flashed with my touch. Maybe I was imagining things, but her eyes slid down to my lips, making her cheeks blush. I could only guess about the things she was thinking at the moment. But somehow I was damn sure our thoughts were the same. And the realization wasn’t helping. It made me feel uncomfortable.

  “So what else do Embry’s students do at their Spring ball?” I asked, giving us both some time to catch our breath.

  “I heard about one more tradition. At the beginning of the ball they gather all the girls and blindfold their eyes. Then they ask the guys to stand in a line and our task is to recognize the man we came here with. If we fail, we will have to spend the rest of the night with the one we have chosen as our date.”

  “Sounds cruel.” I frowned at the thought of spending the night with some other girl. “Do you think you will be able to recognize me with your eyes blindfolded?” I silently hoped she would.

  “I will try,” Tara said, turning away. Apparently she didn’t want me to see more of her blushing. But she moved too fast and almost lost her balance when her dress caught on a root of a tree. Instinctively my arms went to her waist, locking her in my tight embrace.

  “Careful,” I said, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin. Now her back was pressed to my chest, and I could barely stop myself from touching her bare shoulder with my lips. Hell, I could barely think about anything else. All I wanted to do was to take her away from there, and to some dark room and kiss her senseless. Damn my brother and all those people around us! I needed her, I wanted her and I… couldn’t let any of the above happen. Crap….

  “Sorry,” Tara said, turning to face me. “I should have put on a more comfortable dress. This one is going to kill me tonight.” She chuckled nervously and smoothed the silver fabric.

  “Shall we go?” I offered her my hand. This time she took it without hesitation and we headed for the ball room.

  With every passing day it was harder to see Tara with Kevin. Every time the three of us met I could feel the tension between us. Though my brother never said a word, pretending to be indifferent. I couldn’t understand whether he was doing it on purpose or was he really that blind to not see the attraction between his girlfriend and me. All my thoughts were wrapped around Tara. I was falling asleep and waking up thinking about her.

  I remember how tensed she was holding me by the hand.

  “Try to memorize the feeling of my touch, as I sure as hell don’t want to spend this night with anyone else.” I smiled sincerely and winked, hoping it would help her to relax.

  It was one of those memories I always enjoyed recalling.

  When it came to finding dates, Tara recognized me immediately. She didn’t have to double check, the moment her palm touched mine, she took off the blindfold and said, “He’s the one.” Her words sounded like music to my ears. And I secretly hoped that one day she would say them again….

  Chapter 6

  It was almost midnight, but my diary still had a lot of pages I wanted to read. It was the last time I would read them, pulling out the written memories and burning them in the fireplace in front of me.

  Page after page I was expunging the bitterness of my past, hoping to start a new life - much better than the one I had before. But I wanted to get to the last memory, because deep down in my heart I knew that no fire would be able to erase the moments of love so beautiful, and powerful I felt for Tara. It was a timeless love, the one I was sure I would never be able to feel again.

  May 31st, 2005

  The last day of spring – the most exciting day for every student of Dever. There were three months of vacations we were looking forward to. But today we had our final exams, by the results of which our teachers were making the lists of disciplines
for the next year. Those who failed the exams had to addend additional lectures that would take most of their summer time. Suffice to say that none of us was thrilled about the idea. So we had to do our best not to screw things up.

  Everyone had their own methods of preparing for the tests. Some students tried to find the best partner, as all the tasks should have been performed in pairs. Some tried to find out the list of questions and those who possessed magic invented new ways of smuggling their records and books.

  But this year there was a surprise waiting for us. All the students were gathered in the Great Hall and assigned to a student of a different faculty. It complicated matters significantly as the nearest student of your faculty was within a few rows distance and no one could help you.

  It looked like I was the only one happy about the partner I was assigned to. It was Tara, sitting next to me with that annoyed expression most of the other students shared. She blessed me with a forced smile, and pretended to be busy with her writing materials. We didn’t see each other very often. Since the ball, she and I had been trying to keep our distance. It felt like she was going to make a very important decision about her relationship with Kevin, but I didn’t want to push her into something she would blame me for later. The decision was up to her. The only thing I knew for sure was that she was tired of pretending. And so was I.

  Tara was obviously nervous. The vibrations of her dark-purple aura were so intense I wanted to hug her and say something comforting, though the only thing I managed to pronounce was the following, ”Too bad you can’t read auras.”

  “Why?” she snapped, without looking at me.

  I moved closer and said almost in a whisper, “Because what I see in yours makes the blood run faster through my veins.”

  “Why don’t we start the test, Evan?” she replied icily.

  “We have plenty of time, Sweetheart. Three hours or so to enjoy each other’s company. And be sure I will enjoy every second of it.” I moved even closer, so that now our bodies were separated only by the clothes we were wearing. I could almost hear the wild beating of Tara’s heart. Forbidden fruit is sweet, and sometimes it was simply impossible to stay away from that sweet fruit, sitting next to me. Common sense was thrown out of the window.

  Tara ignored my comments. She opened her notebook and started writing answers to the test’s questions. I felt her eyes on me, though I tried really hard not to think about her. I needed to concentrate on the test. But from time to time I turned my head to look at her. She couldn’t see my eyes sliding down her lips, her neckline, and to the parts of her perfect body they shouldn’t have stopped at.

  “Why is the compulsion spell so dangerous?” Tara asked quietly, reading one of the questions.

  “You need to control your power while making somebody do something he or she doesn’t want to do. If you lose control, the power of compulsion can switch its effect to you, and make you do something you don’t want to do.”

  “I see.” She nodded thoughtfully. “But you do use this spell sometimes, right?”

  “Right, we do. When we badly want to get something we can’t have,” I said, meeting her stare.

  “Are you still talking about the test?”

  “Of course.” I smiled, and got back to my notes.

  During the next two hours we were silently working on our questions, trying to ignore each other. Damn, it wasn’t easy at all. Besides, I kept looking through Tara’s answers, and silently correcting the mistakes. She didn’t say anything about my attempts to help her, but every time my hand accidently touched hers she shivered and swallowed as if trying to hold back her own impulses.

  There was a question I couldn’t immediately give an answer to, so I read it quietly, “What is stronger: the power of mind or the power of action?”

  “It’s a hard question,” Tara said. “Everything depends on what you are thinking about or what you are doing.”

  “You are probably right.” I nodded. “Too bad our actions often contradict our thoughts. Right, Tara?”

  “Sometimes our actions are pointless,” she said, looking straight into my eyes.

  “True.” I nodded again, without breaking the eye contact.

  “So what answer is the right one?”

  “I don’t know. Choose the one you think is right. Think about your own actions and thoughts. Will you do what you think should be done, or what you really want to do?”

  My question wasn’t just about the test. And Tara knew it. “I will choose what I have to choose.”

  I didn’t know what that meant, and I didn’t look into her notes. It was the last question of the test, so I wrote my own answer and closed the notebook. But before I left the Hall I took a piece of paper and left a short message to Tara: “I think the power of mind is stronger because of the simple fact that our thoughts are always right and fair. And the more we run away from each other, the sooner we will burn the sheets.”

  I was sure that after reading the note, Tara would want to kill me with her bare hands, but the farther I went from the Great Hall, the angrier I became.

  I was angry at her, at myself and the whole world around us. I knew she was attracted to me. I could feel it. But I couldn’t understand how she still could be with my brother. And seeing them together, I couldn’t understand why on earth I still hoped to be with her one day.

  I couldn’t hide my feelings any longer. I wanted her to know how I felt about her. I wanted everyone to know how I felt about her! I wrote that stupid note because I wanted to make her angry. Yes, I wanted her to see the situation from my point of view and to realize that it can’t be like this forever. And despite the fact that I had just broken my own promise not to push her, I needed her to make a choice….

  Chapter 7

  July 15th, 2005

  Two weeks have already passed since the day of our final examination. The campus was almost empty as most of the students went home for summer. There were only those who just turned eighteen and came to Dever. Unfortunately their studies started despite the time of the year. When I was at school I used to spend my holidays together with my parents. Now I didn’t have anyone to spend them with. I didn’t want to go to Paris, so I stayed in Dever. I liked being here. Besides, summer studies were accompanied by the numerous parties and visits to Gloster. I didn’t mind any of the above.

  I didn’t see Tara. Her roommate said she went home for the summer and would be back at the beginning of September. She ran away. From me, from Kevin, and all those crazy things going on in our love triangle. Unlike me, my brother went travelling without even saying where to find him if necessary. But I didn’t bother about his absence, as I knew that Tara wasn’t with him.

  One day I found a note under my bedroom door. It said, “Meet me at ten at the west gate.” There was no signature but I didn’t need it to know whom the note was from. Looking at my watch, I realized that I was late for the meeting, but I still hoped Tara would wait for me. I dressed hurriedly and ran to the gates.

  She was waiting for me, leaning over the red Mini Cooper with her arms crossed.

  I stopped a few steps away from her and asked ironically, “To what do I owe the honor?”

  “We need to talk and I thought it would be better to do it here. In private.”

  “Well, okay. You asked me to come, so I guess you have something to tell me. Go ahead.”

  “Evan, I… we can’t do this anymore.”

  “I can’t but agree with you.”

  “The note you gave me previously said only what you want it to be like, but it will never be the same in reality.”

  “You are so wrong, Love,” I said, deadly serious. “Let me demonstrate something to you.”

  Before she could say anything else, I pulled her to me and kissed her lips. Hungrily and passionately. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t the only player in this game. And when she responded to the kiss, I realized that I was right.

  Our lips were moving in a slow and sensual kiss. Our emotions were o
verwhelming and shattering, making us want so much more than that one kiss. It was even better than the day we first met. My palms were caressing Tara’s back, moving slowly under her shirt, touching her belly’s soft skin and making her tremble in my embrace. Her arms were locked around my neck, and she leaned into me as if she was afraid of losing me.

  And then… then I broke the kiss abruptly, and looking into her dreamy eyes, I said quietly, “This is what I tried to explain in my note, Honey. You are burning in my arms and I can’t wait for the moment you come and ask for more.” I took a step back, looked at her one last time, turned around and headed for the campus. And no matter how badly I wanted to run back and finish what we started, I did just what I had to do – I showed her something she wanted as much as I did. The only difference was that she refused to admit it.

  I liked this memory. I reread it hundreds of times because it was the only thing making me believe that Tara wasn’t an illusion, that she was real. I hadn’t seen her since that kiss. My summer went by in a blur. Parties, drinks, girls… many girls. Not that I liked any of them, but they helped me block the visions of grey-blue eyes, perfect curves and smooth lips, haunting my dreams.

  Somewhere at the end of August I saw Tara’s car at the parking lot. And it was probably the first time in my life that I didn’t know what to do next, or how to behave.

  Of course, Tara was avoiding me, and every time we saw each other we ended up quarreling. I couldn’t restrain myself from another sharp comment, and she always flared back, making me want her even more. We were not fighting about anything in particular, just about the way her hair was done, or the length of the skirt she was wearing. It looked like she always wanted me to be jealous seeing her with someone else. But I wasn’t jealous. I was furious. It was a war the winners of which got everything. And I wasn’t going to lose it.

  No matter how hard she tried to ignore me, I knew she was always watching me out of the corner of her eye. And of course, I couldn’t but give her a reason to be angry at me too. I was flirting with other girls and they were more than happy to flirt back, making me smile. Watching us, Tara left the room, slamming the door behind her.