Set Me Free Read online

  “Let me go! You have done your job, I am out of the bar,” I said, as soon as we were outside.

  “You sure you can walk without my help?”

  “Positive.”

  “Where’s your car keys?”

  “In the pocket of my jeans, why?”

  Without asking for permission, James shoved his hand into my pocket and took the keys. I could swear I saw something new in his eyes, like a flash of fire that he was normally so damn good at hiding.

  “I’ll drive,” he said in a harsh voice, opening the passenger door for me.

  “Do whatever the hell you want,” I barked at him, and got into the car, leaning my head against the back of my seat. I closed my eyes, and felt like I was sitting on the teacup ride at the amusement park, my head was spinning. I only hoped I wouldn’t puke. I would puke when I got home, but definitely not in my car.

  Silently, Mr. Collins got behind the wheel, started the engine and the car moved, making the surroundings sway in front of my eyes.

  Why did I decide to get so damn drunk? I should have taken it easy. I should have stopped at the second shot, but I didn’t.

  I shook my head, closing my eyes again. A new day promised to suck, but I hardly cared. Right now, all I cared about was getting into my bed, and the sooner the better.

  Thanks for the ride, Mr. Collins!

  Chapter 4

  I don’t think I had ever felt so awful in the morning. Even after I found out about Roberto cheating on me, I didn’t drink that much. I cried mostly, but this time, tears were no longer enough. So, I chose hangover from hell instead… That was genius, let me tell you.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Oh, no… This is not happening. Not you again!” I groaned, covering my head with the blanket. James was probably the last person I needed or wanted to see right now. For that matter, I never wanted to see that smug, self-assured, asshole ever again. “I thought you were going to leave today. What’s taking you so freaking long?”

  “I’ve changed my mind. Get up.”

  “Go away! Wait… What?” I tossed the blanket away and sat up in my bed, shaking my head, a little puzzled. “What do you mean ‘you’ve changed your mind’?” I seriously hoped his words were just a trick of my dead-drunk imagination.

  “I’m staying. Get up. I need your help.”

  “You mean you are staying here, in Braiwood?”

  “Good to know that tequila hasn’t burned out your logical thinking.”

  “Why are you staying?” I asked, frowning. I hated the idea of seeing more of James Collins in my house. I just wanted him to disappear, as if he were just a very bad dream that I wanted to forget.

  “I will gladly tell you everything when you are up.”

  “Then you’ll have to wait. I want to sleep,” I snapped, slinking back under the blanket.

  “You are not going to make it easy, are you?”

  “I have no damn idea what you are talking about, but no, I’m not going to make anything easier for you. So get the hell out of my room, now!” I didn’t even care to look at him again. My head hurt so badly, as if I had been hit in my forehead with a stray bullet in a shootout. I wanted nothing more than to sink under the floor and never see nor hear from anyone again. Even thinking felt like another gunshot right through my head.

  “Fine. Then we will do it my way.”

  Before I got a chance to realize what was happening, James swept me out of my bed and put me over his shoulder, holding me firmly in place.

  “Let me go!” I shouted, hitting his back with my fists as hard as I could. Not that I had enough strength to do any real damage, my energy batteries still needed to be recharged, and this jerk wouldn’t let me get the sleep I needed so much to do just that.

  “I will. Eventually,” he said calmly, opening the door to my bathroom.

  If only I knew what he was going to do next, I probably would have agreed to wake up without his fucking help. He turned the water in the shower on and put me down, right under the stream of freezing cold water.

  “Are you out of your damn mind?” I gasped for air, trying to overcome the shock of the realization that I was standing in the ice-cold shower, wearing my PJ’s and socks. I was one of those people who were afraid of catching a cold, even in the middle of summer, I always went to bed in socks. Well, except for those ‘special nights’ of course. Not that I remembered the last time that kind of a night happened.

  “Cool off, Stella. Trust me, cold showers help.”

  “You would know about cold showers… Who told you I needed help?” I stared at him angrily. My desire to get back to sleep was gone in no time flat. Now, I wanted nothing more than to burn James Collins alive. Would be a perfect revenge for his cold ‘Good Morning’.

  “Take a shower and come downstairs. I’ll be waiting for you,” he said, turning to the door.

  “The hell I will… I will never do what you tell me to do!”

  He stopped, turned around slowly and took a few steps closer.

  “So, you are going to stay up here in the cold shower all day then?” He said snidely, paused, and continued more firmly, “Do not push it, Miss Holt.”

  I laughed. “Seriously? Now you are threatening me?”

  I took a closer look at James. He looked pissed, though I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t ask him to come to the bar last night and save my ass, and I sure as hell didn’t ask him to wake me up this morning. So what was his problem anyway?

  “Do you think last night was fun?” He flared. “You can’t just run away, get drunk, and pass out in the middle of nowhere.”

  “I didn’t pass out anywhere!”

  “Yes, you did. Do you remember what happened after we got into the car?”

  I frowned, trying to recall everything that happened after I got in the car, but nope, no memories came to my head. Crap. . .

  “Vaguely,” I said.

  “Then let me refresh your memory: you got sick, I had to pull over and wait until you felt better. Then you refused to get back into the car, you suddenly felt like singing. You apparently thought you were some kind of a blue jay. Okay, fine, I waited for that to end too. Then you tripped over your purse, it must have fallen to the ground when you tumbled out of the car to vomit, and then you passed out – right on the side of the road.”

  Oh, shit… Someone kill me now!

  He continued, “So, I had to take you back into the car and cruise around your damn town, waiting for you to sleep it off. Because I knew Dillon would be waiting for us to return, and I couldn’t let him see you like that.”

  My Goodness, I am so screwed. . .

  “And then, when I finally brought you home and helped you to your room, you did the stupidest thing. I did not think you could be so dumb, but I was apparently wrong. . .”

  Uh oh, this is not good. “Did I… Kiss you?”

  “Worse. You started undressing. And singing again. Right in front of me.”

  “I did not. . .”

  “Oh, you sure did. But again, I didn’t want Dillon to see you like that. So I had to stay with you and calm you down, which was not easy by the way, considering how persistent you were that I was going to sleep with you. And by sleep, I don’t mean singing you lullabies. ”

  I didn’t feel the water running down my face and my body anymore. I just wanted to die, right there and then. I was so embarrassed, I could swear my embarrassment was about to fry me alive, and not even cold shower could save me this time.

  “I’m so sorry, James… I didn’t mean to do any of that…”

  “No, really? Then why do they say that what soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals?”

  I rolled my eyes. “It doesn’t mean anything. I was not going to sleep with you.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you would have. If I had let you. Do you even remember? For all you know, we could have had sex, and I could lie. You’re lucky I am a nice guy, and do not take advantage of drunken women.”

  I almost ba
lked at his use of a nice guy. Yeah, he was such a nice guy. “Well, thank you, Mr. Nobility, for saving me from making another huge mistake.”

  James stepped closer, then took a step back, as if he were afraid of being so close to me. And then… Well, then he entered the shower and roughly pushed me against the wall of the shower, pinning me to it with his torso.

  “Don’t thank me, Stella,” he growled, staring down at me. “Because in any other situation, I would have gladly accepted your sexy invitation and let you do whatever the fucking hell you wanted to do with me. And then… Then I would do the only thing I have wanted to do since the very first moment when I saw you in the kitchen – I would fuck you until I get you out of my system. Because for some sick reason, I can’t think about anything but being with you, being inside you in particular.”

  I froze, speechless. The images of James and me, naked, were too vivid in my head. I tried to block them out, I really did, but I couldn’t. . .

  “What makes you think I would even let you near me, let alone allow you to do that to me?” I asked, hoping my voice sounded firm enough to not give away my sudden excitement.

  The corners of James’ lips twisted in a half-smile. He leaned close to my face, leaving no room for me to breathe and said in a low voice, “I never ask permission… I take what I want.”

  I don’t know what made me say the next words, but it was too late to take them back once they were out. “Then you probably don’t want me enough to prove it.”

  James’ eyes darkened. The water drops glistening on his face and neck only made him look even more gorgeous, if that was even possible. His shirt and jeans were drenched, but he didn’t seem to care.

  Slowly, he wrapped one arm around my waist, touching my lower lip with his fingertips. His eyes stayed locked with mine, as if he were testing me, trying to see how far I would let him go.

  “Scared?” I asked, smirking. Something was telling me that I was right.

  “Not even a little bit,” he snapped back and then crashed his lips on mine, capturing my mouth in one possessive kiss.

  My breath caught. All of a sudden, the fire that had been burning in me since the very first moment I saw James yesterday, ignited with new force, melting me, turning me into one liquid mess of irresistible desire and need.

  God, I wanted him so badly. . . It was unexpected and wrong in so many ways. But then again… It felt so good in so many places. I wrapped my arms around James’ neck and pulled him closer, tangling my fingers in his hair. It felt like silk, and I wondered how many women before me had thought the very same thing.

  “Stop teasing me, Stella,” James breathed against my lips. “It won’t do you any good.”

  “I never ask permission, I take what I want,” I whispered, throwing his words back at him once again.

  “You will regret this.”

  He was breathing heavily, still holding me firmly in his embrace. He wouldn’t let me go, and this time, I didn’t ask him to.

  “Maybe I will. But who cares?” I ran one hand through his hair again, enjoying the way it slipped through my fingers.

  “I do.”

  I smiled humorlessly. “You do? Then make sure I don’t regret a second of it.”

  He shook his head, still refusing to give up. Something was holding him back and I couldn’t understand what it was.

  “You are going to be the death of me, Stella. I’ve broken so many rules with you. . .” He caressed my cheek with his palm and then brought my mouth back to his, sliding his tongue in between my parted lips. I moaned in response. The man surely knew how to blow a woman’s mind with a kiss alone.

  Again, I thought about all those women he had been with before me, but it didn’t change anything, and it surely didn’t stop me from responding to James’ kiss with all the need I felt for him at the moment.

  “God, I want you, Stella. Badly. . .”

  “Then what are you waiting for?” I asked, sliding one palm down his torso.

  “We need to stop,” he said, catching my hand half-way.

  “Don’t stop.”

  He growled, pressing his forehead to mine. “You never listen to me. . . Why the hell you never listen to me?”

  “I’m a bad girl, I know. I can be good too, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”

  His eyes met mine, and I knew it was the moment his defense broke. He caught my wrists and pinned my hands to the wall over my head, kissing me fiercely. I could feel his lips everywhere, on my cheek, on my neck, on my shoulder. He bit the skin on my shoulder and then kissed me again, softly, slowly.

  “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you. . . Why? Why can’t I resist you?” He sounded a little angry, as if he were angry at me. Or maybe he was angry at himself. But why? Because he wanted me?

  “Who would have thought that famous James Collins would be afraid to have sex with some small-town girl?” I asked, jokingly.

  “That’s the thing, Stella. . . First off, I can tell you are not a small-town girl, do you not listen to a word I say? Secondly, I’m not sure if it is just about sex anymore.”

  Uh, he shouldn’t have said that. His words seeped through my skin and hit my heart so hard, as if it were about to break again. And I didn’t want it to break again. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to suffer anymore. But on the other hand, I wanted to be with James, maybe not always, not forever like I wanted with Roberto, but I wanted this moment to belong to us. I could afford it, couldn’t I?

  I turned my brain off and just let it go. . .

  “I won’t regret it,” I said aloud. I don’t know who I was trying to fool, James or myself. But right then and there it didn’t matter.

  His hands slipped down my wet top, and then moved to my hips. He lifted me up so I could wrap my legs around him, and pressed me against the wall again, showing me just how ready he was for more. I could feel his arousal even through the fabric of his jeans and my pajama pants. But something was telling me our clothes wouldn’t be staying on our bodies for long.

  Our kiss was getting hotter, hungrier. James’ lips traveled up and down my neck, no real rhyme, just tasting his way. His fingers firmly massaged down my sides, together with his lower body pressing harder against me. He started to nibble around the side of my neck, biting it, with his teeth scratching my skin. Kissing his way up towards my ear, he put one hand on my shoulder, gripped the strap of my shirt and pulled it down, tearing it in places and exposing one of my breasts, then cupping it with his palm. He kissed me just below my lips, then moved up and brushed my lips with his, staring into my eyes, as if asking for permission to keep going. With one hand around his neck, I slipped my other hand down the back on his neck and under his soaked shirt, my nails bit lightly into his skin. He smiled devilishly in response, bending his head down to my breast that he had been toying and then sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, making me growl loud. I don’t think I had ever been so turned on. I think I would have even sold my kidney on the black market to have sex right now, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. I tried to remember the last time I was with a man, but nothing came to mind. Roberto was the first and the last man I had ever been with. Son of a bitch. How could I be so blind and in love with him?

  “Stella, are you awake?”

  Oh, shit. . .

  “Dillon,” I whispered, horrified.

  James’ expression hardened again. He swore under his breath and slowly put me down. “Say something,” he said, stepping out of the shower.

  Ugh, seriously? Was he going to leave just like that?

  “Am in the shower!” I shouted, hoping Dillon wouldn’t try to make sure that I was okay by coming in. The bathroom door wasn’t shut, and I bet James was thinking about it too. How could we leave it like that? Oh, right – we were too busy making out to think about my uncle showing up in my room.

  “I’m leaving!” Dillon said. “Do you need anything?”

  “Am good, don’t worry!”

  “See you later t
hen. Bye, Doll!”

  I waited for the bedroom door to open and close, and only then did I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “He could have seen me in here,” James said, leaning over the sink, with his fingers grabbing its edge firmly.

  “So what? We are not kids, you know?”

  “No, we certainly are not.” He sighed and looked at me through the mirror. His expression was unreadable again. But I could swear I could see the regret glimmering in his eyes. Did he regret getting into the shower with me, or did he regret that whatever we started had to end sooner than we planned?

  “I need to get changed,” he said after a short pause. “Take a shower, Stella. I’ll wait for you downstairs. I still need your help with something.” And then he left, closing the damn door behind him.

  I leaned against the shower wall and closed my eyes. Only now that James was no longer there with me, could I see how crazy our moment of sudden passion was. Neither of us expected it to be so… Shattering. It did affect me, and it affected James too. I didn’t need any proof, I just knew it. His eyes said it all, no matter how hard he tried to look distant. Though, I still couldn’t understand what was pulling him back. I was not the first woman he was going to have sex with; so, what the hell?

  What did he say? ‘I’m not sure if it’s just about sex anymore.’

  What did he mean by that? He surely couldn’t start feeling something for me, after less than twenty-four hours of knowing me, right? Besides, I doubted James Collins knew how to feel at all. Obviously, the secrets that he had been hiding from me had something to do with his weird behavior. Who was the woman that he refused to tell me about? What did she do to him?

  I stepped out of the shower, took off my clothes and got back under the water, which was warm this time. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face James again today, but it didn’t look like I had a choice. And what did he need my help with? I hoped he was not going on a morning run or something, ‘cause I sure as hell was not in a running mood today.