Serene (Shattered Book 3) Read online

  She turned around and walked back to her chair. She took a notebook and a pencil lying on the coffee table and said, “Have you ever wanted to be someone else?”

  “I guess everyone wants to be a different person from time to time.”

  “It’s because no one is perfect. We all want something that we don’t have, no matter how much we do have. You should know it better than anyone else. People come to you to change something about the way they look. Some want to be more confident, others – simply beautiful. But all of them want changes. Because they are not satisfied with what they have or how they look like.”

  “What about you, Ivy? Who are you tonight?”

  My question didn’t surprise her. We both knew there was something so much more behind her sunglasses than a simple desire to play a round of so called ‘hide-and-seek’ with me.

  “Mrs. James Bond, obviously.”

  “What happened to Ivy Ryan?”

  “Good question… But I’m afraid there’s no answer to it, Dr. Burke.”

  “You may call me Stanley, if you want. First-name basis always feels more real.”

  “Do you always choose real, Stanley?” She asked quietly.

  I loved the way my name rolled off her tongue.

  “No. But tonight I want to be real.” I paused. “I also wish I could meet the real you, Ivy Ryan.”

  “Maybe one day.” Her response followed the sound of a pencil scratching across the paper. I walked closer and looked down at what she was drawing. It turned out to be a letter ‘S’ written in an intricate manner with shades of gray surrounding it.

  “S – is one of my favorite letters,” she said. “Here,” she gave me the sketch. “You can add as much color to it as you want.”

  “I’m afraid I will ruin your beautiful work. I’d better leave it black and white.”

  “As you wish.” She stood up and headed for the hall.

  “Wait!” I caught her by the hand and said, “Tell me you don’t have any plans for Monday night. I want you to come to the party.” I was one step away from begging her. I never wanted to hear ‘yes’ from a woman as much as I wanted it now.

  “Why?” She turned around and my eyes again saw nothing but the damn sunglasses.

  “I want you to meet Dr. Stanley Burke.”

  “I thought I met him tonight.”

  “Like you said – we all have different sides. I’m curious to know what you think about a different side of me, Ivy.”

  She didn’t respond. And I started to worry she would never say the sacred ‘yes’.

  “Can I…touch your face?” She asked after what felt like forever.

  The question surprised me.

  Without waiting for my response, she reached out one hand and covered my cheek with her palm. Her touch was barely tangible. But something about the whole moment felt so intimate; I think I forgot about the need to breathe.

  “High cheekbones,” she said in a whisper. “Expansive forehead. Your hair must be falling down on it all the time.”

  I listened to her and realized that I couldn’t take my eyes away from her, as if she were reading a spell book and I was falling hopelessly for every word of it.

  “Full lips,” she continued, now brushing my lower lip with her fingertip. “Firm and soft enough to give sensual kisses… What color are your eyes?”

  “Hazel.”

  “Hazel…” She repeated as if in echo. “I always wanted mine to be hazel.”

  Now I was really dying to see her eyes. Wait, why was she asking about my eye color? I was sure that even wearing sunglasses she could see that they were not blue or green. Or maybe with the lack of light in the room, she simply wanted to make sure that what she saw was correct.

  But then…

  She lowered her hand and said, “I wish I could see the real you, Stanley. But I’m afraid I’m only allowed to meet the result of my imagination.”

  Something clicked in my head. Like the wheels that suddenly started working and I saw everything in a different light. A puzzle that I had been trying to put together suddenly made a whole picture.

  Ivy wasn’t playing any roles, she wasn’t pretending to be someone else. Even the sunglasses, they were not just a part of the show, not exactly. They were an essential part of her life. The life that was so much different from mine…

  “I’ll come to the party,” she said. “If the invitation is still valid of course.”

  “It is valid,” I said, amazed.

  “You didn’t realize I couldn’t see anything, did you?”

  “You did a great job with fooling me, Mrs. Bond.”

  She smiled. It was just a ghost of a smile. But I was glad my words were the cause of it.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  Hundreds of questions buzzed in my head. But I seemed to be unable to ask any of them. I just kept staring into the darkness of her sunglasses that suddenly felt like the deepest of depth ever existed.

  “I’ll see you on Monday, Stanley.”

  I didn’t try to stop her this time. She turned around and walked away, leaving me alone in the room.

  I looked down at the sketch that I was still holding in my hand and my heart dropped to my feet.

  How?...What happened to her?... When did it happen?... Was it curable?...

  Emery’s voice brought me back to here and now.

  “It’s been almost two years since she saw anything…” She came over to me and silently took the sketch from my hand. “I still don’t know how she manages to do things like this. I’d been watching her learning everything from the very beginning, but it still amazes me how easily she can draw such a beauty with her eyes shut to everything but darkness. We always keep a notebook on a coffee table in case she feels like drawing something. Whenever she needs a distraction, she starts drawing. It has always been like this. Not even blindness could change it.”

  A lonely tear ran down Emery’s cheek, but she quickly swept it away and put a smile on her face.

  “She gave you a hard time tonight, didn’t she? I hope you won’t add this dinner to the list of reasons to stay away from this place.”

  I laughed under my breath. “No. I will add it to the list of reasons why I can’t stay away from here.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ivy

  I pushed the button on my alarm clock and the voice from the metal thing told me it was three in the morning. Wide awake, I was sitting on my bed, lost in my thoughts about last night’s dinner. I remembered my first months after the accident when showing my emotions led to something breaking in my apartment. Emery said it was okay, that I’d better smash everything on my way than say goodbye to my life, which, I guess, was her main concern at that time. She followed me everywhere and not even showers happened without my sister sitting on a small chair next to my bathtub, too afraid to leave me alone and then find me drowning in the pool of my own blood. To be honest, there were many times when I was thinking about ending my life. And if it were not for my sister, I would probably be gone by now.

  After I realized that Kean would never come knocking at my door, I shut myself off from everything that would remind me of the things I felt when being in love with him. I told myself to stop missing him, missing us. Feelings were no longer welcome in my heart. But last night, I felt something I hadn’t felt for a long time – the flutter that always comes with the attraction that for some unknown reason pulls you to someone you barely know, or like in my case, can’t even see.

  I don’t know what was so special about Dr. Burke, Stanley as he told me to call him. His every word crawled under my skin, and went to the depths of my soul that had been locked for years, as if his voice had the power to reveal every small secret I kept within. He was like a magnet I gravitated towards, like sunlight that makes you want to close your eyes and lean into its warmth, exposing all of you to the biggest star of the universe.

  I knew the exact moment he realized that I was blind. His breathing caught, or mayb
e he stopped breathing at all, because the silence in the room suddenly became stony. I swear I could hear every beat my heart made. I suddenly felt so small again, as if I were afraid to disappoint him. Or maybe I simply knew he would feel sorry for me, which was one of those things that would never change, no matter how hard I tried.

  Until that very moment, I was sure there wasn’t anything in the world that could make me accept his invitation to join the party. But all of a sudden, I wanted to do something that was so out of my comfort zone, and for the first time in months do something I missed so much – feel myself normal again.

  A soft knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

  “Still awake?” Emery asked, entering the room.

  “And so are you.”

  I heard her sighing. She came closer and sat on the edge of my bed, saying, “My stupid brain wouldn’t shut up.”

  I chuckled. “Same here. No wonder we are sisters. God would never let any of us suffer from insomnia alone.” It had always been like this. Emery could always feel everything that was going on with me, and vice versa. I really missed her when she got married and moved out of our family home. I didn’t live there anymore either, and there was no one I could talk to in the middle of the night simply because sleep wouldn’t bless me with its magic.

  She stayed quiet. So I spoke first, “Tell me something, sis… Why did you agree to keep working with Stanley when he said he was going to leave the hospital and open a private clinic?”

  “There was nothing to choose between. I always liked working with him.”

  “But why him? You never had trouble getting on well with other doctors.”

  “You know, when we first met, I was about to give birth to Paul. I told him I would need at least three months off work. He said he didn’t have any problem with making his schedule and other things that I was supposed to do for him. But when he saw me enter his office three months later, he looked like a kid who just got the biggest present ever. It was the moment I knew he had had a hard time without me.”

  “Why didn’t he ask for another secretary?”

  “Because the hospital was lacking of staff; they needed more doctors and nurses, not to mention secretaries. And he was new there, he didn’t want to seem too snobby to demand help when everyone in the hospital had enough of their own work to do.”

  “I see.”

  “Why are you asking me about him?”

  “I said I would come to the party on Monday, so…”

  “You are coming to the party?” Obviously, my sister didn’t expect me to say that.

  “Do you think it’s a bad idea?”

  “It’s a very good idea! The best that has crossed your mind in a long time.”

  “Well, thank you. And here I was sure you thought better of me.”

  “No offense, Ivy, but you did everything to get back to your normal life, except for one small thing – you never thought about having fun.”

  “But it’s gonna be a new place for me. You know how much I hate new places.”

  “I will be there too, remember? I will show you around. Everything’s gonna be all right.” She moved closer and wrapped one arm around my shoulders, saying, “I’m so glad you’ve decided to come to the party.”

  I knew she was not lying. The excitement in her voice was too obvious to not hear it.

  “Now tell me, what did Stanley do to make you accept his invitation?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Really. I just felt like giving in to it.”

  “Good, very good, Ivy.” She rubbed my back gently. “Now try to fall asleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

  “Why?”

  “We need to find you a dress for the party.”

  I growled. “Oh, no!”

  “Oh, yes, my dear sister. We are going shopping! God, it’s the first time ever that I feel really excited about going shopping with you.”

  That was the worst thing she could have told me that night. Shopping for everyday clothes was one thing. But choosing a fancy dress was something I hadn’t done since my crazy pre-wedding week, which was one of the memories I preferred to never let into my head again.

  This is going to be a disaster, I thought to myself before I pulled a blanket up to my chin and closed my eyelids, hoping to get at least a little sleep before my shopping torture began.

  ***

  “Emery, what the hell am I wearing?”

  She giggled behind me. “The most beautiful dress I have ever seen on you.”

  “It’s too short. And it feels like my boobs are about to jump out of the damn corset. I don’t want to make a show, you know? I’m sure strippers are not allowed to the party.”

  “The dress ends a little over your knees. It’s not like it’s showing off your butt or anything. It has a full circle skirt, which is what you always loved. And the color is stunning – emerald has always been one of your favorites.”

  “God, I should have thought twice before accepting the invitation. I’m gonna regret going to the party, I know it.”

  “Don’t be silly. Everything’s gonna be okay.” She put her palms on my bare shoulders and added, “Especially if you wear this dress.”

  “Especially if the straps tear apart and everyone sees my boobs.”

  Emery giggled, again. “If you have great boobs, why not show them off?”

  “Ugh, you are not helping.” I sat on an ottoman standing nearby and ran both hands through my hair. “I can’t do this. I’m not ready.”

  “Oh, no, sweetheart, you can’t dump my charming Dr. Burke. He’s looking forward to your arrival!”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

  “I don’t know, Emery… I woke up this morning and realized that the mere idea of showing up at the party freaks the hell out of me. Do you think I should put on sunglasses again?”

  “What? Of course, not! You’ve been doing a damn good job playing a seeing girl. So please keep it that way and stop freaking out.”

  “Easier said than done… What if I trip and fall down to my knees? Everyone will start laughing at me.”

  “You’ve been wearing heels for as long I can remember and just don’t tell me that you never put them on after the damn accident happened. Knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that you wore them every time I left your apartment just to make sure you could still wear them, even with your vision gone. And you will buy this dress, put it on, add a nice pair of stilettos, just don’t choose those of the Everest height, put on your best smile and go have fun. I’ll take care of your make-up.”

  “It sounds like the worst plan ever, starting with the stupid idea of wearing stilettos.”

  “I never thought you were a coward, little sister.”

  “I am not.”

  “Good. Then take the dress off, and I will take it to the cashier.”

  I stood up and ran my palms across the smooth fabric again. It did feel good to wear something like this again. And if it weren’t for my stupid fears, I would even walk in this dress all the way home. Because even without seeing it, I knew it fit me perfectly.

  “Okay,” finally I said. “Let’s do this.”

  ***

  Stanley

  The day I had been dreaming about for years came and I was as nervous as ever. I couldn’t make myself stop being paranoid about everything that could go wrong; thinking straight today felt like an impossible mission. I put salt in my morning coffee instead of sugar, I didn’t even notice that until I got to the bottom of my cup and realized that coffee had a weird taste. I put my phone in my tux pocket, forgot about it and then panicked when I couldn’t find it. I almost left my apartment building with no shoes on my feet, and realized that I was barefoot only when I came to the elevator and one of my neighbors gave my feet a questioning look. I walked to the building of my clinic on autopilot, not paying attention to anything happening around me. I didn’t even think about taking a taxi or driv
ing my own car, simply because walking felt less dangerous today, considering I could hardly remember my own name.

  Just when I crossed the threshold of my waiting room did everything take its place in my head.

  Because she was there…

  Until that very moment, I didn’t realize that most of all I was afraid not about the upcoming party failing, but to know that she wouldn’t be there.

  Standing at the door to my office, Ivy touched the doorplate with my name on it.

  “Dr. Stanley Burke,” she read quietly. The letters of my name were written in a 3D font, so she could easily read them with her fingers.

  I took my time to appreciate the back of her outfit. She looked like a porcelain doll, wearing that small emerald dress with a full skirt that danced with her every move. I couldn’t see the front of the dress, but I couldn’t miss the velvet shoes that were high-heeled and matched the dress perfectly. I mentally high-fived her choice of shoes. Her hair was done in curls, falling freely down her back. I wondered if she was wearing sunglasses again.

  “I’m glad you’ve made it,” I said, stepping closer.

  She jumped at the sound of my voice and turned around, laughing quietly. “I didn’t hear you enter the room.”

  This time, there were no sunglasses to cover her eyes.

  I took another step closer and stopped stunned. I didn’t see anything but her eyes. They were like a clean lake lost in the wild forest. If you looked closer, you would see the reflections of dark green leaves and sunlight breaking through them. The eyes of washed out green that even with a black curtain hiding their vision could make my heartbeat accelerate.

  She shifted from one foot to another and lowered her head. I immediately started missing the lack of opportunity to look into her eyes.

  “I feel like running away and never coming back,” she said with a soft pink blush covering her cheeks.

  I smiled. I knew that she was nervous. I could see it. She was holding a small purse in her hands as if it was the only solid thing to hold onto.

  “How did you get in here?” I asked, stepping even closer.

  “Emery showed me the way. She told me to stay here while she greets the guests.”