Set Me Free Read online

  “I have no idea. You were supposed to teach me how to make pizza, but instead you thought you would show your ass to my sister first, and I am not speaking figuratively where you just act like an ass. Well, actually you did that too.”

  A small smile played on his lips. “I’m sorry, Stella. I wasn’t trying to act that way, and I didn’t mean to offend you. I just like swimming naked.”

  “No offense taken. Besides, I’m pretty sure Nikki will love you even more now that she has seen so many . . . ahem. . . sides of you.” I gave him a hard look, which only made his smile widen.

  “I told you, don’t be jealous.” He took one of the mixing bowls from the cabinet under the stove and started combining the eggs and flour in it.

  “Why are you so scared of showing your feelings?” I asked, watching him fascinated. James’ hands were moving so fast, as if he were in a competition; he seemed to know the exact proportions of everything he needed to add to make dough.

  “I can’t afford to show my feelings,” he replied, taking me by the hand and pulling me closer to where he was standing. “Take another bowl and make more dough.”

  This is ridiculous, I thought to myself. Not even James Collins can make me love to cook.

  I cursed mentally, hoping his cooking lesson wouldn’t last forever. With James Collins or without him, I still hated everything that put kitchen, stove, and me in one sentence.

  “I think you are just being paranoid about falling for one of your numerous fans,” I said, refusing to give up and change the subject.

  “You don’t know anything about me, Stella. There are things that you will never understand.”

  “Why don’t you help me understand them?” I looked at James, but his eyes were focused on the contents of his bowl, and he refused to look at me.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to know the real me.”

  “I don’t get it. First, you say that you hate your popularity because people don’t want to know the real you, and now you refuse to let me into your world. You are a man of contradictions, Mr. Collins.”

  “No, I’m just a fool who thought he could have it all under control.” He looked at me thoughtfully, but didn’t say anything else. It was a dead-end conversation, and I was getting really tired of our ping-pong questions-with-no-answers game. So I thought I should just focus on my pizza.

  I looked down into my own bowl and laughed – whatever was there didn’t look anywhere close to what I could see in James’.

  “You really do suck at cooking, Stella,” he said, shaking his head. “Throw it all away. I don’t want to be poisoned by your pizza. Let’s make just one.”

  “Or maybe you are just not as good at teaching as you originally thought you were.”

  “I’m sure I could still teach you a few things . . .”

  I met his stare without hesitation, saying, “What makes you think that I don’t know them?”

  He smiled devilishly. “Show me.”

  “Show you what?”

  “How far you can go . . .”

  I paused for a moment. One of a few things about James’ arrogance that I liked was his ability to make my senses go on high alert. He was a teaser, a walking provocation, full of secrets that I couldn’t wait to get closer to.

  “What if it makes you break another rule of yours?” I asked, watching him closely.

  “I don’t care.” He stepped close, too close to let me run away or even move aside. “Scared?” He asked the same question I asked him back in the shower, but my answer was identical to his.

  “Not even a little bit.” Then I wrapped my arms around James’ neck and pulled his lips to mine, showing him just how little I cared about pizza or anything else but this very moment with him.

  His response to my kiss was a little different from what I expected it to be. It wasn’t rough or possessive like the previous kiss we shared. The new kiss was more like a slow tease, a mixture of seduction and pleasure that James was giving and taking at the same time. It was the most sensitive kiss ever. For a moment I panicked, not sure what to do next, but unlike me, Mr. Collins knew exactly what he wanted to get from me.

  “Turn around,” he commanded, breaking the kiss.

  “What for?”

  “I don’t think I can wait any longer, Stella . . .” Then he turned me around, wrapping both hands around my waist, and sucked on my ear lobe, whispering, “I’ve never had sex in a kitchen.”

  “But you said . . .”

  “Forget it. I lied.” He slid one hand down my belly and stopped at the waistband of my jeans, caressing my bare skin softly. “But I’m going to now.”

  I swallowed hard. I was probably still too shocked to say anything, or protest, or try to stop him. I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I put my hands on the kitchen counter and shut my eyes, diving into the vortex of sensations that James’ touches and kisses were sending through me.

  His lips and hands were everywhere. It felt like he couldn’t get enough of me. He unfastened my jeans and pushed them down.

  “Step out of them,” he said.

  I didn’t dare to turn around and look at him, something was telling me it would be a mistake, and I didn’t want to ruin this moment of pure excitement. I didn’t remember the last time I felt anything like that. In fact, I was sure I had never felt anything similar before.

  My Goodness, I was losing it badly, but the worst thing was that I hardly cared. I knew whatever we were doing was wrong, but I refused to think about the consequences and my body fully agreed with me at that point. Before I could think twice about making probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life, James pushed my panties down my legs and I felt his cock pressed hard against my lower back.

  “It is now or never,” he hissed into my ear and then slid his palm in between my legs where the increasing pain was pulsing. His tone was all wrong, but his touches felt so right.

  My thoughts were a mess. I could hardly think at all, dying to feel him inside me. Thank God, I couldn’t see myself now, I would probably die of embarrassment; I never thought I would let a man fuck me in the kitchen, especially considering the fact that I hardly knew the man standing behind me now.

  The next second, I felt James’ hand grabbing my ass and pulling me closer to him. Pure lust overwhelmed me, making me blind and deaf, and un-freaking-believably stupid.

  What am I doing?

  “Stop thinking, Stella,” James said into my ear, as if he could actually feel my sudden fear. It splashed all over me, making my knees shake. But James wouldn’t give me another second to hesitate. “Spread your legs,” he said in a harsh voice. The next thing I felt was his hard cock thrusting deep inside me.

  With a low moan, he started moving in and out, his hips slamming against my ass. It was anything but sweet and tender. It was more like a challenge that Mr. Collins was more than willing to accept. He is a conqueror, no doubt. And I am just a woman, a silly woman, just like James said before...

  He pounded into me, and I flinched at how forceful his thrusts felt. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, keeping me in place; not that I had any room to break away from his death grip. For a second I felt like crying. I don’t really know why, I just did. It was as if I came to an understanding that what we were doing now was pointless, hopeless, like a moment when you watch something fall to the ground and shatter into a million pieces and you realize there isn't a single thing you can do to save it.

  He pushed hard, moving faster. I looked down at my hands, gripping the edge of the kitchen counter, my fingers pale in some places from the lack of blood, blocked by the force of my grip. I began to suffocate, not literally of course, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe in enough air; my blood was pounding in my ears, hushing the sounds around me. There was only him . . . everywhere. His head was on my shoulder from behind my back. I felt his breath on my cheek pressed against his; his lips were on my neck, sucking on my skin; his hands were around my waist, his cock was inside me, thrusting so deep, I could
hardly keep my balance. The connection between us was devastating, crushing.

  He pulled back and reached between us, just to dive himself deep inside me again. My back arched unwillingly, waiting for more, wanting more. And he gave me more, it may have been even too much to bear . . . He reached for my clit, circling it, over and over again, until I couldn't remember who or where I was. He kissed the back of my neck, and I moaned aloud, feeling long-awaited bliss building inside me. It rushed like a river down my spine, exploding right where James’ knowing fingers kept touching me in a perfect rhythm, driving me to the heavens of satisfaction. My hands slammed against the surface of the cold kitchen counter and we orgasmed together; his growl vibrated on the skin of my shoulder.

  I gasped for air, trying to catch my breath. James was no longer embracing me. He stepped back wordlessly, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I had lost something vital the second he took his body away from mine. Slowly, I turned around and looked into his terrified eyes. There was so much pain in them, it made my heart hurt.

  “I’m sorry, Stella… I shouldn’t have let this happen…”

  I swallowed. “We both wanted it.”

  “It doesn’t change anything. I’m a man. I should never forget about the consequences.”

  The consequences . . .

  “I’m on the pill.”

  He looked at me, as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

  “Not that consequence, Stella.”

  Obviously, neither of us had taken a minute to think about protection, and that was definitely not the problem that was bothering James at the moment.

  Not sure what to say, I looked down at myself and pulled my shirt down, hoping it would cover me enough that I would not feel so naked standing there. Thank God, I had at least kept my shirt on, the rest of my clothes may be in a pile on the kitchen floor, but I have my shirt to aid my sudden modesty.

  The next moment, we heard the front door opening.

  “Stella? James?”

  Ugh, perfect timing, Dillon. As always.

  I quickly picked up my jeans and panties, lying shamelessly on the floor and rushed to the mudroom to slip them on before Dillion entered the kitchen. Unlike me, James was fully dressed by now and didn’t need to hide anywhere. Men, how on earth do they always end up fully dressed, right after having unexpected sex, when women stay all naked? Well of course, pushing jeans and boxers down doesn’t take much time, not as much as dealing will all the girly stuff anyway.

  I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, sighing.

  What the hell just happened? I know I said we both wanted it, but I don’t think that explains the way it happened. I never expected it to be so fierce, so primal. And so damn good . . .

  I could still feel the fire that James had started in me. Just like with the questions of my interview, I was sure that no time with him would be enough.

  I shook my head at the memory of him pressed hard against me, trying to figure out how I was going to go back to the kitchen and look into James’ eyes again. What was he thinking now? Obviously, he regretted what happened between us. Does he hate me? Is he going to leave now? Uh, if only I could read minds . . .

  Taking a deep breath, I put my clothes back on, ran both hands through my hair, hoping I would look more or less decent and Dillon wouldn’t suspect anything. Then I turned to the shelves with different goods, took the first thing I laid my eyes on, and went back to the kitchen.

  “What happened here?” Dillon was standing in the doorway, looking at the mess in his kitchen. The floor and cupboards were covered with flour. Apparently, James and I didn’t notice dropping the bag. Thank God, everything else was where it belonged.

  “James has been trying to teach me how to cook.” I forced a smile, hoping it didn’t look like a grimace. I would be mortified if Dillon figured out the reason for the mess.

  “Oh, really?” He laughed. “That explains everything. Well, good luck with that, Buddy. Trust me, you need luck or even a miracle for that feat. Stella doesn’t cook. At all.”

  “Thank you for your support, Dillon.” I rolled my eyes, remembering that Nikki had said the very same thing about me earlier today. Now I really wanted her to be here. Maybe if she had stayed, I wouldn't have to avoid looking at James. I was scared to meet his eyes. What if he started to think poorly of me? Regardless of how much I enjoyed being with him, I didn’t want to look like a slut, ready to give myself to the first man I laid my eyes on.

  “I’ll go send a few e-mails,” Dillon said. “Don’t worry, Stella. Even if you fail, we can always order food from the restaurant.”

  “Actually, we are almost done with pizza,” James said. “Right, Stella?”

  Uh, for crying out loud! Did you really need to say it like that?

  “Yeah, Mr. Collins is really good at . . . teaching,” I said, emphasizing my last word to show him how little I cared about the accusation that I could hear in his words. He was acting like it was my fault he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Asshole.

  “What do you need tobacco for?” Dillon asked, pointing at the can in my hands.

  “Tobacco?” I looked down at the damn can. “Oh, oops. I meant to grab the sugar.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James smirking.

  Double asshole.

  “Okay, kids, have fun. See you later.” Dillon left, closing the door behind him.

  “Breathe, Stella.”

  “Ha-ha, very funny.” I grimaced at James’ smart-ass comment and put the can on the table. “Shall we finish cooking?”

  “Sure, if that is what you want. . .” He looked at me one last time and got back to kneading the dough.

  I didn’t pay much attention to anything he did after that. I was too lost in my thoughts to notice what he was doing. I didn’t even care about the fact that I still didn’t know a damn thing about making pizza, but I knew a lot about something else . . .

  “Stella?” James said after what I bet was no less than half an hour of unstoppable thinking on my part. “The pizza’s almost ready. Will you go call for Dillon, please?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Stella?” He said once again; I was just about to leave the kitchen before he stopped me.

  “Yes?”

  “I’d like to talk about what happened.”

  I smirked, humorlessly. “We don’t have to talk about anything, James. Just write about it. That is what you always do, isn’t it?”

  His jaw tightened. “As you wish,” he hissed through his clenched teeth.

  I paused at the door. “Why did you stay, James?”

  His face didn’t give away a single thought running through his mind. He had been watching me, I guess trying to read my own thoughts, then he shook his head and said, “I don’t know, Stella … I really don’t.”

  I nodded absently and walked away, cursing the moment James Collins crossed the threshold of this house. No matter how beautiful the man was, I knew he was trouble; he was a too damn sexy for his own good kind of trouble . . .

  Later that day, Nikki called.

  “Oh, come on, you cannot tell me that you didn’t like cooking with the Amazing James Collins,” she said, trying to find out something, anything about our cooking session.

  “It was good. James is really good at cooking.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Stella! Spill the details, I know there is more here than you are saying. You know I hate trying to read between the lines of what you are saying; frankly it is a pain in the ass. . .”

  “Sorry, Sis. I have already told you everything there is to know. I have nothing else to add.”

  “Fine,” she said, offended. “I’ll call you when I’m back to New York then.”

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “Can’t say the same about you right now.”

  I laughed. “I know you love me too. Talk to you later.” I hung up the phone and leaned against the pillows on my bed.

  After Dillon, James, and I fi
nished dinner, which was probably the most awkward and silent dinner I had ever had in my entire life, I washed the dishes and went to my room, saying I needed to rest.

  “May I come in?” James asked, entering my room some time later.

  “You are already in.” I put the magazine I had been reading aside, and crossed my arms over my chest. It was a defensive gesture, I know, but it was the only way I could protect myself from James now. And God knew, I needed that protection.

  “I think I owe you an apology,” he said, leaning against the closed door. He looked tired and troubled. I wish I could go back in time and start this very odd and awful day all over again. I would have done everything differently: beginning with James and the shower, and ending with James and the pizza; none of it would have happened if I had the chance to go back.

  “You don’t owe me anything, James,” I said irritably. More than anything, I hated his attempt to look noble now. Did he even know what nobility meant? I don’t think the word was in his vocabulary. “I don’t need your apology.” You may as well shove it up your ass and get the hell out, I wouldn’t care!

  “Apology is the only thing that I can give you at this point, Stella. Too much has happened today for anything else.”

  Again, I saw the familiar pain in his eyes. He had the same look after we . . . well, when we were in the kitchen.

  “I didn’t ask you for anything, James.”

  “No, but you deserve so much more than what I can offer you.”

  “And what exactly can you offer?”

  “You know the answer.”

  “Sex? Well, thank you for being so unbelievably generous, Mr. Collins. But as I have already said, I don’t need anything from you.”

  “I wish I could give you more . . . but I can’t.”

  “Or is it that you don’t want to?”

  James sighed, shaking his head. “You don’t understand…”

  I cursed aloud. “You have mentioned that before. Why don’t you just tell me the truth?”

  “Because you will hate me, Stella . . . even more than you already do.”

  I rose to my feet and moved closer to James. “I don’t hate you.”